I close my eyes, the shower's hot water flows over my back; I bite my lip.

I close my eyes, the shower's hot water flows over my back; I bite my lip. It's on the verge of being painful, but that's how I like it. Steam makes the air thick, more challenging to breathe; a buzzing sound catches my attention. I turn off the tab, step out of the shower and take hold of my phone. Whatsapp 1 new message: James 'Oi, home?' James lives next door. He's my best friend. No, that's not right, more like my soulmate. There isn't a thing he doesn't know about me or the other way around. This kind of text usually meant he wants to meet. I hit the reply button. 'Sec. Getting dressed. Was showering.' Within seconds after sending the message, my phone buzzed again. Whatsapp 1 new message: James 'Don't. On my way.' Reading the notification makes me smile. I can imagine the playful twinkle in James' eyes writing that. After sending, 'You wish.' I put down my phone and take my towel from the drying rack. Once dry, I walk over to the dresser and put on a skin colour slip with a matching strapless bra. Walking towards my room, I peek through the window, giving me a glance at James' driveway. He's sitting in the trunk of his battered old pick-up. My eyes close as a smile forms on my lips. How many more boxes can he tick on the 'slightly too cute boy next door' list? It seems to be a clear summer day, and judging James outfit, a warm one. I put on a sky blue summer dress, tie my hazel hair in a ponytail and look in the closets build-in mirror. My dress's centred shape accentuates my figure and makes my hips appear somewhat broader, my b-cup breasts slightly larger. The dress actually compliments my curves. Pleased with my look, I walk down the stairs where I put on my ballerinas and out the front door. As soon as James sees me, he jumps out of his trunk. I walk over to him and hug him. Strong arms close around me, his typical musky odour hits my nostrils and makes me smile. I lay my head on his collarbone and enjoy every second before his grip loosens. "You smell nice," he says while taking some distance. "Did you finally took a bath?" Again, that playful twinkle in his brown eyes makes me smile. "Asshole," I say while hitting his chest. "Can't you be nice for a change?" I'm trying hard to keep a stern look, although I know he just sees past it. He laughs, "Oh, come on, Emmy, you know I'm only teasing you." I nod and smile at him. "You're alone?" Another certainty, most of the time, if he sends me a message to meet, he's alone. Not that I'm not welcome when he's not, but we both enjoy the time we spend alone together. "Yea, until 5 or so, they went to work." With 'they', he meant his parents. We both still live with them. Although he's planning to move out after graduating next year. "I've got you a present, by the way," he says while smiling at me. He walks over to the passenger door of his truck and takes out a rectangular box. "Here." "James! I told you you didn't have to buy me anything!" I try to give him a stern look while accepting the package. Secretly happy he never forgets my birthday and always gets me something small. "Yea, I know, but you don't turn 18 every day," He says. "Come on, open up." I open the wrapping paper, my heart skips a beat. Inside is a limited edition, harry potter DVD collectors box. "Oh my-! whe- where did you get this? I've been looking for this one for ages!" When I look up at him, there's a massive smile on his face. "Last year, in the London studio's." his voice dropping with satisfaction. Did he plan this? "This is amazing!" I carefully place down the box and wrap my arms around James' neck. Hugging him tightly, I whisper in his ear, "Thank you." Again, he wraps his arms around me, only this time he lifts me off the ground. I can feel his muscular body against mine, the warmth of his skin. It's like something is swelling inside my chest and- James puts me down, and somehow it feels like a spell has been broken. There's this emptiness inside me where I can't put my finger on. James' voice breaks my thoughts. "You wanna watch one?" "What?" I'm slightly startled but quickly regain my composure, "Oh, yea, of course!" I grab the box and look at his front door. "You're alright?" there's a tone of concern in his voice. He tries to make eye contact. I frown, "Yea, why not?" "It looked like you were brooding about something." "I guess I'm just touched by your gift," I reply with a smile. He really does notice the slightest alteration in my behaviour. "My place?" "Sure." As we enter my house, James asks. "Can I help? Drinks, snacks, whatsoever?" "Just take that big brown blanket from the wicker basket next to the sofa." Complying, James goes to the living room. from there, he shouts. "Want me to start up the movie already?" "Just sit down and get comfy." I shout back as I take hold of a big bottle of coke and bag crisps. When I enter the living room, James' already sitting down. I place everything down and carefully put the DVD in the DVD player. I sit down as the movie starts and drape the blanket over us. "I'll never understand why you always want a blanket when we watch something, even on warm days like today." his hand slides over his face and squeezes his chin, something he always does when he's wondering. "I just like cosiness." I softly sigh as I snuggle close to James. "Candles, blankets, cuddling." I look up at him. With a smirk, he shakes his head. "Alright, I got the hint." He wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer. "You desperately need a boyfriend." "You're tired of me already?" I look up and try to hold his gaze. with my most teasing voice, I continue. "Don't I provide you with the perfect girlfriend experience?" While laughing loud and infectiously, he answers. "Let's get into bed then." Instinctively I punch his chest again before laying my head back on his collarbone. We continue watching the movie, although I'm not as focused as usual. James' joke still lingers in my mind. What if I followed up on his offer? Let him be my first? I push the thought away. James looks at the television. "I was talking about you, by the way. I don't need a girlfriend; you need a boyfriend." I look up at him. "You're doing fine; I'm getting all I need from you." Or at least most of it. Halfway through the movie, I notice James' shallower breathing. I look up; his eyes are closed, and his mouth slightly open. I roll my eyes and tickle him. With a gasp, his eyes open. He quickly turns, grabs my arms, a lock them both in one hand. With his free hand, he starts a counter-attack. I sit upright and try to move away from his preying hand. Giggling, I lean back as his fingers brush my ribs. I lose balance and fall on the sofa, pulling James with me as I go down. Using this momentum, James pins my hands above my head. In between the giggles, I try to speak. "No-ooh, st- stop it." I curl up my legs. He places his free hand above my knee, trying to push it down to pin it underneath him. I know that if he succeeds, I'd be completely immobilised. I quickly wrap my legs around his waist. Again, he places his free hand on my leg to push it down, but this time his hand slides down. Suddenly everything seems to go in slow-motion. I feel his warm hand slide up my leg; my body reacts to the sensation sending a shiver through me. His hand bottoms out on the outside of my hip, his thumb brushing my groin. I gasp, again that swelling in my chest. I look down, my dress rose up, exposing my underwear, his hand still on my hip. I'm panting and involuntary bite my lip when I look into his eyes. I feel my labia dampen. The next few seconds, it's like we're both frozen in place. His grip on my wrists loosens. Before I realise what I'm doing, my arms are wrapped around his neck. Our lips touch, my tongue brushes them, our kiss quickly deepens. Suddenly James breaks the kiss and sits upright. "Emmy, we-" "I'm so sorry; I don't know what came over me." I sit upright and take some distance. Looking down, fixing my dress, I feel my cheeks turn bright red. Why did I let this happen? "Don't get me wrong," he says with a reassuring tone, "It's not that I mind kissing you." he scoops over to me and caresses my back, comforting me. "I just don't want it to fuck up our friendship." "Yea, you're right. We can't do this." My words could not be more dissimilar to what I actually wanted. Before I can stop myself, I add. "Not without some ground rules." If I wasn't blushing already, I certainly am now. James frowns and squeezes his chin. "Ems, I don't want us to regret some rushed decisions. I don't want to hurt nor lose you." His words feel like he's stabbing me, tears well in my eyes. "Well, congrats. You just did. But luckily, one of us is thinking rational." I know it's unfair, but I really feel hurt and rejected; at this moment, everything is better than crying. By the look in his eyes, I can tell I'm no longer the only one that's hurt. He scowls. "Emmy-" I turn my head, ashamed for lashing out like this. I can feel the tears trying to breakthrough. "Please, can you leave me?" My voice is less steady than I'd like it to be. Without another word, James stands and leaves. As the door clicks into its lock, tears roll down my cheek. It's 11pm; over the course of the day, I've realised I overreacted. Why was I hurt? Because James didn't take advantage of the situation? That he actually thought about how I'd feel if we'd continued? That he valued friendship over lust? With a sight, I take my phone and type a text to James. 'Sorry, I acted like a bitch. Plz, forgive me?' I toss my phone onto the bed and pull my dress over my head. I unclip my bra, step out my knickers and jump underneath the sheets. The cool, soft fabric feels pleasant against my bare skin. After a few minutes, I lift my knees, placing my feet closer to my butt. The movement rushes a gentle cool breeze underneath the sheets. I place my hand on my knee. What if James hadn't stopped this afternoon? I move my hand down some inches, imagining it's James's slightly rough hand brushing my leg. Arousal washed over me; my hand slides down another inch. I can still picture the feeling of his lips on mine, the softness of his tongue. My skin starts to tingle. Another inch, my nipples harden, my free hand finds my breast. "Hmmm, James." My fingers trace my hip, brushing along my groin. Pressure builds in my abdomen; I slightly spread my legs, I'm soaked. My fingertips slide over my outer labia, imagining it's James' fingers; I bite my lip and frown. The moment my fingers touch my clit, my orgasm takes me by surprise; it rolls over me like an avalanche. My back arches, my entire body trembling. "Aaaghn, fu-" My head becomes fuzzy, intense satisfaction overwhelms me. "-uuck!" My body feels like it's radiating. Distantly I hear my phone buzz, but I'm too weak to react to it; slowly, I drift away into a deep sleep. The sound of the doorbell wakes me up. My mind still cloudy; I turn onto my back, my body feels heavy. I chuckle and bite my lip as I remember why; it definitely was a fantastic orgasm. The bell sounds again, I sight, persistent are we? I push the sheets away and take my bathrobe from the hook on the door. I make sure everything fits snugly and tie the belt around my waist. As I'm walking down the stairs, the bell rings again. "Yes, just a second!" I shout as I make my way to the door. I look through the peephole and see James. What's his hurry? Usually, he's always patient. I open the door, as soon as he sees me, he starts to speak. "I'm so sorry for the text. I didn't mean it. I was hurt, and I'm sorry for saying that." Confused, I look at him. "What text?" His eyes go wide; there's hope in his eyes. "You didn't read them? Give me your phone." I shake my head, "Jesus James, I'll read them in a sec; you just woke me." He grabs my shoulders, his eyes pleading. "Please don't; Where's your phone?" I shake my head. "Jesus, In my room, I think." My words are barely spoken, and James darts past me up the stairs. By the time I can catch up with him, he's in my room, my phone in hand. With a sigh of relief, he sits down on my bed and holds out my phone. I yank it out of his hand, angry for having my privacy invaded like this. "What the fuck James, you can't just barge in like that! let alone take my phone without permission." "I'm sorry," Although I'm clearly angry, he seems to relax. His voice calm and steady. "let's just say I've acted like an asshole, and I regretted it the moment I hit send." His calmness makes me even angrier. "I don't give a fuck James, Get the fuck out of my house!" I shout while pointing at the door. He stands and walks past me without another word. When he's out, I look at my phone. Our conversation is still open, and the last message is the one I sent last night. Over the next couple of weeks, our friendship returns back to how it was before my birthday. The events that happened nothing more than a forgotten and forgiven memory. A trait we both picked up over the years. No matter how angry we get with each other, We always worked it out. Near the end of the school year, I receive a message from James. Whatsapp 1 new message: James 'Oi, you home 2nght? I need a favour.' With a quick reply, I send 'Sure.' and continue what I'm doing. When I get home, James's sitting in the trunk of his pick-up. He eagerly waves at me. He jumps out of it and hugs me. I inhale deeply; His scent is so intoxicating. "Ems, I need a favour," he says as he lets go of me. "I've got an assignment for my graduation project. I need to make a portfolio for an all-around model. Including paper and the online version." I nod as he continues, already understanding where this is going. "Can you be my model?" "Define all-around model, please?" I say, flattered that he thought of me. "A model we can use for all kinds of assignments, primarily commercial. Like for fashion company's, make-up commercials but also for promoting recreational venues like theme parks or wellness centra." he's clearly enthusiastic that there's a chance I'd say yes. "Sure, but nothing nude or too exposing." He laughs, "Emmy, it's commercial, not pornographic. I promise it will be modest." "Just giving you a heads up." I wink, and he laughs again. Clearly content with my answer. "Great. If you can just send me your sizes, I will make sure everything is in the studio. Can we start shooting tomorrow?" "Everything small, but you know that, don't you? And yes, I'm free tomorrow." "Yea, but you'll need to be a little more specific Ems, like all sizes. Just look up a models measurements; You'll know what I mean." "Okay," I'm slightly confused; All sizes? "Perfect! Now go measure! I'll need them ASAP if we want to start tomorrow." James is nearly jumping up and down in excitement, it's contagious, and I smile at him. "Fine, have it your way." With a last wink, I go inside and start looking up what exactly he needs. I'm shocked by seeing the exactness of those lists. I somewhat reluctantly measure everything and type my text to James. 'Weight: 125.6 lbs / 57kg Height: 5' 7 1/2" / 1.71 m Body type: I don't know? Slim? Body Measurements (breast-waist-hip): 33-26-35 in / 84-66-89 cm Bra: 32B (US) / 65B (int) Feet: 6.5 (US) / 37 (EU) Dress size: 6(US) / 36 (EU)' James replies in seconds. 'Thx! I knew you'd be perfect.' His reply makes me smile, but I can't help feeling a little anxious. The evening passes quickly, and by night I've got a hard time catching sleep. I've never done any modelling, and suddenly I'll be in front of James' lens. But he chose me; of all the people he could ask, he chose me. With that pride, I finally drift asleep. The morning passed in a rush. I took a quick shower, got dressed in jeans and a plain top while James was busy packing his gear and stacking into his pick-up. On our way to the studio, a professional one he arranged through the school, he briefed me. "I couldn't arrange a make-up artist or hairdresser on this short notice, so we'll be focusing on natural shots today. Everyday handlings, mostly to get comfortable before the camera. maybe some nightwear, if you're up for that?" He is rattling, but the enthusiastic type of rattling, as if he cannot talk fast enough to get everything said. "We'll see," I reply; I'm more nervous than I'd like to admit. When we arrive, I'm shocked. The studio is vast, separated into different compartments, representing living environments that could be out of movies. I'm standing in the middle with my mouth open. James laughs at my reaction. "It's the project of our decor building department. We must use this set for this assignment so we can be judged equally. You know, all backgrounds the same." "It's amazing; I could live here." I'm still looking around, astonished by all the details that are in the different sets. Small things make them look real, Like the open magazine at the corner of the dining table or the dirty dishes in the kitchen sink. I feel James hand on my shoulder. "Come, We've got work to do." He leads me into the set that represents the living room. He opens his bag, which I didn't even realise he was carrying and sets up his tripod and camera. "Just look around." I walk over to the table and take the magazine I noticed before. I hear the shutter click for the first time and turn around. "Don't mind me, just look around, explore." His voice is soft and reassuring. I turn my attention back to the magazine. There's an interview with a model on the open page; I can't help but laugh at this. How accurate. The shutter keeps clicking. I decide to read a bit of it, and after a few minutes, I don't notice the clicking anymore. I sit down on the sofa, a pretty comfortable one, and I kick off my shoes. When I finished the article, I take hold of the remote and switch on the television. It's actually connected! I get a bit more comfortable and lay down. "Perfect Ems." James' voice startled me; I look over and smile. At this, the shutter clicks faster. After about half an hour of exploring, James's voice calls out. "Good, Next room." We walk over to the kitchen set and repeat the whole process. I look around, take hold of things, occasionally smile at James. I actually like how the shutter speeds up when I interact with James; I even ask random questions. "What would you like for dinner?" James laughs at this and answers my questions. Again, after about half an hour, James calls out it's enough for this room. I walk over to him, he says. "I'm just going to upload these to my computer, and we can have a first glance at them." When I see the photos, I'm surprised by the quality. They all look so professional, I know James studied for this, but I never thought pictures of me could be this good. I smile at the casualty displayed in the photographs; one photo draws my attention. It's one taken in the living room set. I am sitting on the sofa with my legs crossed, and I am stretching myself. My top has come up a little so that my belly is somewhat visible, the rim of my knickers just visible above my jeans. I look at James. "This one," I say, "It's-" James interrupts me. "Beautiful?" "I was about to say, strangely sexy," I reply, feeling my cheeks redden. "But yea, also beautiful." He nods, "Yea, there probably are more pictures like that." he looks into my eyes, and somehow my heart skips a beat at the intensity of his look. "You're very photo genetic, you know, I'm confident that with some posing, you could make dusting sexy." Again, I feel myself blush, "Thanks, I guess-" his remark didn't miss its effect. In the following pictures, I started looking at everyday things that could make a photo sexy. The next one that caught my attention was one of the kitchen set. I am standing at the cooker, straightening my bra. Under the bottom of my bra cup, my thumb makes my top fit tightly; through the red fabric, you can see the black of my bra. My gaze seems dreamy in it.r"