So what do you do when you find out your best friend and your fiance/boyfriend of 5 years have been hooking up for months and decide they're in love? If you guessed that you drink yourself silly and hookup with a random hot guy then I'd say you guessed correctly.
Day 1: Ground Zero
I make it home from the airport around 10:45 am. I make a stop at Starbucks grabbing 2 caramel lattes on the way home, one for me and one for my guy. I'm feeling a little sluggish from traveling but I'm glad to be home especially after a successful trip.
I stop outside our condo trying to balance my carryon, my purse, the coffee and my keys. I manage to balance it all without spilling a drop, that is until I take a good look at the sight in front of me, but before I get to that let me tell you a little about what I do for a living.
I'm a consulting business analyst and adjunct professor. I run my own small firm, so I travel a lot. I have a knack for business and marketing. I always have, even before I attained credentials in the field. I can literally walk into a business usually without even looking at the books and pinpoint at least a half dozen reasons why the business isn't as successful as it should or could be. In a nutshell people pay me to see the bigger picture, to catch the little things that they miss or just don't see. So when I see my best friend in my robe, making breakfast while my boyfriend grabs her from behind and kisses her neck you can understand why the coffee hit the floor.
I'm floored. How could I, of all people, miss this? Even in that moment I can see the intimacy of the scene. This didn't just happen. How long had it been going on for Felicity and Ryan to be that comfortable screwing me over in my own fucking house?
I feel like I can't breathe. It's like being hit in the solar plexus and not seeing it coming. People talk about flashing out and kicking ass, but in the moment hurt and shock trump anger. In the moment it's like a fight for survival where you're just trying to figure out how to survive the pain of that moment. Everything else is secondary.
I'm sure I'm gaping like fish out of water, I don't know what to say. And I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, but I know I can't stay here. I have to get the fuck out of here. I back out the door looking at the shock and surprise on their faces. I can vaguely hear Felicity telling me to wait and Ryan saying that we need to talk.
I'm running to my car at this point. Thank God nothing is behind me because I'm in a daze driving on autopilot. I drive and drive. I get tired and even then I keep driving. Before I know it I'm two states from home and my mental, physical and emotional reserves are gone.
I find a ridiculously swank hotel and put it on Ryan's black card. I have four $200 bottles of wine billed to the room too since Ryan is treating, why the hell not?
Then the text messages start in earnest . I ignore them all and return just one to Ryan that reads:
"You have 72 hours to get the fuck out of my house. Take the robe with you."
After 3 days and 8 bottles of wine I return to my home. Ryan, thankfully did as I asked but didn't leave keys so I make a mental note to change the locks. I also make one last extravagant purchase on his black card. A new bed. My home and heart already feel violated enough without me lying in their dried wet spot.
I spend the next few days cleaning relentlessly and feeling mostly numb. Then out of the blue a text from Felicity asking am I okay topples me over the edge into a pit of seething rage. I'm talking Carrie, I want to bathe in your blood rage, so I decide to channel it by joining a 24 hour gym. After a month of excessive exercise with virtually no appetite I'm down 28 pounds.
But anger is not sustainable over the long term. It's a flash in the pan emotion. When it fizzled out all I was left with was numbness and bouts a soul deep sadness that I couldn't seem to shake.
Finally the realization hit that I was a loser and I was acting like a loser and I needed to get the fuck out of the house and stop moping over those two worthless pieces of shit. I'd had a decent rack but now it's lean and scorching hot. Why not let some hot guy appreciate it? I doubted seriously that Ryan and Felicity were feeling sad and stressed over me. Definitely not to the point where they were abstaining.
I make an appointment at the salon and get the works, wash, trim- nothing too drastic, highlights and lowlights, and make up. I feel like I need a mask for tonight. It's been a while since I've been in the ring, but I'm determined to jump in with a baptismal by fire approach.
I decide to go to a bar downtown called Top Shelf that people have been raving about. I can't help but go into business mode when I enter the place. I wonder who was their consultant because it's quite literally a home run. I can find little to nothing negative to say about the front of the house. I go up to the bar to order a drink. My plans for the night require liquid courage, but the bar is unmanned. I turn around and scan the room looking for a potential one night stand. It's a nice crowd and options seem promising.
I turn around to look into the steel blue eyes and most dazzling smile I have ever seen. The rest of the package is spot on too. 'Adonis' is easily over 6 feet with an athletic build. His shoulders are broad, strong thighs, tight glutes. His hair is dark and a touch too long on top with the sexiest touch of salt and pepper at his temples. His movements are fluid and graceful. He's obviously in his element and comfortable in his own skin.
He smiles at me, flashing a little dimple, "Know what you want?"
"I can just imagine the answers you get for that one, but I'll take a vodka on the rocks with a twist of lime. We lock eyes and the temperature of the room seems to skyrocket.
"You got it gorgeous."
"Bet you say that to all the ladies."
"Then you'd be wrong. I only say it if it's true."
I watch him as he chats it up with other customers. He has an easy laugh, calls many of them by name. He knows how to work the room, be inclusive and add a personal touch without being too familiar.
He returns with my drink in hand. "You're good. Your boss struck gold. I hope he or she appreciates you."
"Thanks, gorgeous and brilliant. I like it, he says with a wink. "So where's your boyfriend or best friend?"
"Last I heard they were fucking each other," I answer with a shrug
"Woah, well that sucks, but look on the bright side."
"What's the bright side?"
"The bright side is, he says leaning in to whisper in my ear, when I fuck you I won't be stepping on anyone's toes."
He goes back to tending the bar and I look around to see if anyone else noticed him graze my neck with his teeth.
He comes back with another drink. "Considering what brought you here this one's on me."
"What makes you think that's why I'm here?"
"I've been doing this a while so I'm a pretty good read. You're hunting, looking for the breakin guy after a shitty breakup."
"And why on earth would you want to be that guy?"
"Why is right, because it's really a high pressure position to be in and most guys blow it mainly because they don't even know they're that guy. But to answer the question I'm a cocky son of a bitch who will make you forget what's his face's name."
Forgetfulness is exactly what I need and I believe he can give it to me. "What time do you get off?"
"Only after you do," he answers with a grin which earns him a swat on the arm.
"From work, smart ass?"
"Whenever I want, I'm gold and I'm the boss," he says with a megawatt smile as he dials a number on his cell. "Sasha, come downstairs and tend the bar. I had something come up." He disconnects and turns to me. You see that door marked 'employees only' around the corner? Go to it and I'll buzz you in. Wait in the corridor for me, okay."
I see a pretty petite woman with a goth look that actually works for her step up behind the bar. "Since I'm doing solids, I take it the tip jar is all mine."
"Have at it, Sash."
I'm led upstairs into what appears to be an efficiency apartment. It has a small office with a desk covered in receipts. There is a big screen tv with a small bar and a tiny fully appointed kitchen. And across the room is a very large bed.
"Do this often?," I ask.
"No, but would it matter?"
"No I guess not," I answer. Who am I to judge? I came with the specific intent of finding a random guy to fuck.
"Are you nervous?"
"Yes," I answer with a nod.
"Don't be. Let yourself enjoy it."
I decide right then to do just that. I have played the role of a victim for too long and I'm sick of the part. I want my life back. I want to feel confident, sexy, and wanted again instead of abandoned and passed over. I'm tired of numbness. I want to feel alive.
"I can do that, but first what's your name?"
"Nova," he repeats in my ear before landing kisses on my neck and shoulders. It feels strange after having only Ryan touch me over the past five years. I momentarily feel as if I'm betraying him somehow but I remember who betrayed who first and I force myself to relax into his kisses, closing my eyes to focus on the pleasure of his touch.
He slides the strap of my romper down. All I have on under it is a black lace thong that showcases the globes of my ass perfectly. His intake of breath is all I need to hear to know that he agrees. Emboldened I step out of the romper and turn so Gabriel can take all of me in.
"You're stunning, and your ex is a fucking idiot," he says as he stares intently at my body. It seems like minutes have passed so I start to cover my nipples that seem to strain for his attention.
"So beautiful, " he murmurs as he pulls my body closer to his. He sits on the bed with me standing between his thighs to approximate our height and begins to trail kisses across my torso while he cups the weight of my breasts in his hands. My nipples are excruciatingly tight and when he pinches them between his thumb and forefinger I gasp audibly and arch into him.
We both moan together when he takes my nipple into his hot mouth. I watch as he feasts on my flesh. His mouth is ravenous and his hunger fuels mine. I can feel my wetness pooling.
He pauses noting the hunger in my gaze. My lips part. Gabriel doesn't miss the silent invitation. His lips are firm and demanding. He slides his hand into my thong to touch me where I ache the most. My moan is almost guttural, my body arches into his touch. "God you are so fucking wet," he say as he rub my clit sliding two fingers inside.
"Please, fuck me," I beg. He ignores me.
"No, not yet, not until I make you burn like your name."
He stands trading places with me so that I'm on the bed and he's standing in front of me. I take the liberty to start unbuttoning his Oxford polo with shaking fingers. He finishes, letting the shirt drop to the floor. He pulls his t-shirt over his head in one motion. Dear God! He is fucking gorgeous. Both his arms and most of his upper torso are covered with tattoos. His body is chiseled and honed into a walking piece of art. I cannot hide the blatant lust on my face.
He slides my thong off completely then lifts each leg to remove my heels while letting them rest on his shoulders. He leaves a trail of kisses and passionate bites that I secretly hope will bruise down to the core of me. Then he pauses and says, "Such a pretty pussy," before taking me into his mouth.
Gabriel's mouth is maddening. He licks me slowly, deeply with alternating suction added to my clit while he penetrates me with his fingers. I've already exploded on his tongue once, but Gabriel is insistent on making me cum again. He adds persistent, delicious pressure to that rough bundle of nerves deep inside. The sounds of my wetness sound obscene but I have travelled so far from the headspace where I can be self-conscious or care. I am splayed open, fucking his fingers wantonly. I am almost at the edge and Gabriel knows exactly how to push me over into the abyss.
"That's my little slut, fuck me back, cum for me," Gabriel commands. With his words I feel the spasms deep inside me, my back arches, drawn like a bow. "Let go slut give in to me," Gabriel demands. I cum with a scream and for the first time in my life I create a waterfall. Gabriel for his part is not afraid of drowning.
Before I can recover Gabriel has donned a condom and is inside me. His cock is so thick and full even with my wetness it's a snug fit. But my God he feels so good. His deep strokes are relentless. I hold on tight taking all he has to give and begging for more. "Yes, that's it, fuck me deep," as I bite the corded muscle of his shoulder.
"God you're such a sexy bitch," Gabriel groans before capturing my lips in a plundering kiss. I taste myself and I deepen the kiss. I can feel he is close as he pistons in and out. He puts just the right amount of pressure on my clit to send me into the stratosphere. I want him to feel a fraction of the pleasure he's given me.
"Let me taste your cum," I whisper and he delivers a bruising kiss to my lips before abruptly pulling out. I scramble to my knees, reaching for his thickness, mouth open and ready. I piston his cock in my fist once, twice before thick ropes of semen splash across my mouth. The taste reignites my lust and hunger for him.
"Open your mouth, baby" I do as I'm told. Gabriel gently cups the back of my head slowly fucking my mouth. I hear his deep guttural moan of completion yet I continue to suckle his cock for every drop. He pulls me to my feet and says with a laugh "Dammit woman I think you're trying to kill me" as he delivers a tender kiss to my forehead.
"I need to use your bathroom," I say as Gabriel opens the refrigerator grabbing two bottles of water.
He reaches an open bottle to me. We both take generous gulps before he answers, "It's the first door to the right."
I really don't need to use it. What I need is a second to gain some composure. I hurriedly get to the bathroom and shut the door behind me. My image in the mirror reflects the truth of the past hour. I look like I've been rode hard and put away wet as my Nana used to say, but I loved every second of it, needed every second of it.
I see multiple marks on my body that I know will bruise and the idea of being marked by Gabriel feels right somehow and immediately turns me on. I take a quiet assessment of my body- my lips are swollen, there bites on my neck, my breasts are fuller, nipples tender, beautiful bite marks grace my inner thighs, my labia are swollen and slick. The surge of yearning I feel is enough to bring me to my knees. God, I want this man again.
I walk out the bathroom into the solid wall of Gabriel's chest. We come together with a clash of grasping hands, merging tongues- urgent for each other in a way that neither of us can understand. Gabriel lifts me so I am astride him. He enters me with a groan. I'm swollen from our first round so the stretch of his cock inside me is more pronounced and delicious. Each step made toward the bed shifts him inside me. I undulate my hips trying in vain to get more of him. This makes him laugh.
"So impatient and greedy, he says while delivering a resounding smack to my ass.
I respond with a moan, "Do that again." He smacks the other cheek harder this time and I shudder with pleasure.
"Fuck, I won't last if you keep doing that thing you're doing with your pussy," he gasps. I continue to practice my Kegels on his dick while biting his neck and pinching his nipples that I've just discovered are as sensitive as my own.
"You're being a bad girl and there are consequences for that," Gabriel warns.
I answer back while biting down on the fullness of his bottom lip, "God, I certainly hope so."
To be continued...