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Dear readers, it has come to my attention that some of my stories have been plagiarised on Literotica.

If you want to use any of my works as the basis for your own, it's fine, go ahead, you have my permission providing:

  1. you do not use word for word extracts

  2. you notify me and credit me at the beginning of the story

Thank you and happy reading.

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THE GREAT BRITISH BATE OFF

My wife and I were at the annual neighbourhood party. The sun was high and the beer was flowing. This party had taken place every year since long before we settled here. Pretty much everyone knew everyone else. Well, neighbourhood party is not quite accurate; the party consisted of people from our street and one or two families from a few streets over. There were older people, singles, divorced, married couples, families, the full spectrum.

People were chatting, playing table tennis, volleyball, barbecuing, eating and drinking. As the day drew to a close, we lit a fire. Families with kids started to drift away and by the time night fell, only adults remained. As it does, the discussion turned to sex. Shelly, a middle aged divorcee with medium length brown hair and quite a decent body, started complaining that she was wearing out her vibrator due to the lack of decent men. At this, the men became quiet. My wife piped up:

"You can have mine -he sure as hell isn't decent though!"

The woman next door made a similar disparaging comment about her husband and everyone laughed.

I was a bit annoyed at my wife for being such a bitch. I called out:

"Shelley, why don't you go get your dildo so we can have a look at it. Maybe I can repair it!"

"Ha ha, you'd love that wouldn't you? Pervert!" replied Shelley.

"And its not a fucking dildo, it's a vibrator. There is a difference you know."

"What's perverted about offering to fix it?" I squeaked. My voice unnaturally high from the thought of sniffing for Shelly's cunt on her vibrator - if I ever got my hands on it.

"You men are all alike, all fucking perverts, and you know it's true!"

"I'm no pervert, I'm a normal guy. Hands up anyone who doesn't masturbate."

Everyone looked around at everyone else - nobody raised their hand.

"See, I told you! Even the women here like to have a wank -probably more than the men. Don't go giving us all that innocent crap, we know you're just as horny and perverted as us."

Shelley piped up,

"OK, yes you are right. I for one, need to get fucked but since I don't have a man, I have a wank. As a matter of fact, I feel like a wank right now, anyone want to join me?"

Whoa, I thought. This was getting seriously pervy real quick. Fuck it:

"I'll have a wank if you do."

My wife shot daggers at me, then called out sarcastically:

"Oh great! Why don't we all just have a wank; let our wedding vows go to hell."

"T hats a great idea honey, anyone else want to join us?"

Now, as I said, everyone was pretty pissed by now and inhibitions seemed to have flown to the wind because suddenly there was a clamour of exclamations of, "yes!" and "hell yes!"

"OK, those interested, hang about. The rest of you, time to go home" (like I said, inhibitions to the wind).

After a few minutes there were approximately a dozen people left in the garden. My wife included. What's good for the goose etc. I supposed.

I took charge. "OK, let's get this show on the road. Line up those lawn chairs on that side, the women sit there. Men, you stand opposite the chairs behind the net. That is, unless any of you fancy a switcheroo, then you can go to the other side"

We removed the volleyball net and laid it across the grass about a metre from the chairs.

"OK, strip! All clothes off, no cheating. Women sit and spread. Men, get those cocks out. Choose a partner. No squabbling!"

Clothes were flying off and carelessly flung aside. The women seemed just as eager as the men to get started. Everyone was naked in thirty seconds flat. The women moved to the chairs, tits, swinging, sagging, swaying and flopping. After they sat, modesty seemed to get the better of one or two and they kept their legs tightly together. The men lined up opposite the women. There was no pushing, everyone seemed happy to see some strange pussy. There we stood, cocks in hand, big cocks, small cocks and everything in between. All smiling widely. This was turning out to be a popular party game! Some of the men started stroking.

I spoke up:

"Hang on, some of you ladies seem a bit bashful, what's with the closed legs? Come on Shelley, Michelle, Courtney, spread em, up on the armrests. No need to be bashful, look at us with our cocks out. I guarantee you, we all want a look at your lovely pussies and you wouldn't be here if you didn't want a wank too."

The bashful women looked at each other, then spread wide, slashes displayed for all. They were, without exception, visibly wet. I was standing opposite Shelley. She looked into my eyes as she took her index finger and slowly inserted into her mouth, then withdrew and moved it to her crotch. Her pussy had a stubbly shadow, as if she had shaved it a couple of days previously. It was incredibly sexy. She slid her finger between her labia, slowly up and down. Her aureoles winked, dark nipples erect, big as pinkies. Hard as a rock myself, I started stroking. Her eyes moved to my cock. She started circling her clit. With the other hand, she cupped and stroked her breasts and nipples.

I glanced left and right. The men, without exception, were wanking furiously, cocks straight out, buttocks clenched, veined arms moving like jack-hammers. The women had thrown caution to the wind and were frantically frigging themselves. Michelle jumped up, ran to the table and grabbed a wine bottle. Running back to her chair, she plunged it neck deep into her pussy. Her eyes rolled back in ecstasy. Seeing this, Jack, standing opposite, lost it. He blasted a stream of sperm that arched across the grass and splattered on Michelle s breasts. This started a chain reaction as Paul and Mike, on either side of Jack, also began spurting their loads across the divide. Michelle rubbed Jack's sperm over her breasts then with two hands fast-fucked her pussy with the wine bottle, shuddering and bucking as she came.

I looked back at Shelley, she also had been watching the others cum. She stuck her fingers, then her fist into her pussy and pummelled herself. This was all too much for me. Wanking hard, I walked across the net and stood in front of her. She stuck her tongue out. I fell my balls boils and spunked a load right across her face. I dropped and pointed my cock at her pussy, removing her fist she spread her cunt lips. I spasmed and blasted a wad across her pussy. Another and another until I was spent. She smeared my sperm onto her clit and began to masturbate hard. I stuck my fingers in her pussy, then widening it, my fist. Her eyes rolled back. I felt her pussy clamp hard on my fist as she came, throwing her head back and groaning deeply.

When she had settled I looked around for my wife. I was going to be in deep shit after this. But I wasn't; Fred down the road, her opposite wanker, was balls deep in her. Fucking the shit out of her in the chair. Her legs were high in the air, her hands around his arse, pulling him into her as deep as she could with every thrust. He groaned and pulled out. An arc of jism sprayed across her tits. He moved to her face and taking his coke in her mouth, she sucked his pulsing cock as he groaned. As soon as he finished, he dropped to lick her pussy and within seconds she was bucking in the chair, grabbing his hair and pushing him hard into her needy crotch. She came screaming, "oh my god, oh my god, oh fuck, eughhh".

Fred removed his face from my wife's crotch, then glanced over to me with an unsure look. I winked at him and smiled. He grinned back, his face shiny with my wife's pussy juices.

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