Swimming was my passion- still is in some ways I suppose. I used to compete at a high level and that caused me to miss a lot of growing up. I didn't "miss" it at the time until they picked Katie over me.

Let me back up a bit.

My name is Julie Haskins and I love to swim. It teaches me discipline and gives me an aerobic workout better than running, and is easier on the body. I don't care much for running, pounding the pavement but slipping through the water is a feeling I love, and I was one of the best.

I started to homeschool my sophomore year of high school because I was constantly on the road going to meets and training. 300 days a year at a minimum. The only days I wouldn't train were if I was on an airplane somewhere.

So, no Junior or Senior Prom. No Homecoming dances. No boyfriends, no girls' sleepovers. Instead, I had friends who were competitors also, but we didn't have sleepovers because if we saw each other it meant we had a meet the next day and lived several states away.

My senior year of high school ended early- about Christmas time, and I didn't have a party or get to walk across the stage to receive my diploma. I had a day at home with Dad and my brother Jason, then Mom and I were off again.

I turned 18 a few weeks before the Olympic Trials and was really looking forward to them. I had a handful of medals from every Championship in the United States and could taste the Olympic Gold!

I beat Katie in every event except the 100 Meter Butterfly and wasn't a competitor for any realys, and that was ultimately why the coaches selected Katie over me.

I was crushed. Devastated. And frankly, I hated swimming at that point and vowed to never compete again.

In full disclosure, you all know who Katie is and she came back the second most decorated swimmer (behind that one American man) and second most decorated woman in The Olympics that year.

But it still hurt.

I hadn't made plans beyond The Olympics and scrambled to get into college, but I had no desire to try out for the swim team. But I made it and looked forward to my next chapter.

My roommate Maddie was a sophomore and had a similar childhood. At 5 foot 4 she was about a size 3 former Miss Teen Iowa. Blonde, curvy, beautiful, Maddie was all feminine. I was almost 6 foot tall and a size 10. Muscular. I had B cups that I tried to smash into a wetsuit growing up and Maddie's D cups were fully on display. I was not attracted to her, but she was probably one of the sexiest women I had ever seen. Purely feminine, I hoped to learn a thing or two from her.

The other thing about Maddie was her sexuality. She knew a few things about sex and was not shy. I was still a virgin.

But I intended to change that. I fully planned to see what I had missed.

Our first weekend after the first week of classes saw a gorgeous mid August Iowa Saturday and the State Fair was still going on 40 miles away in Des Moines. I didn't have a car and declined Maddie's offer to go along. I intended to find alcohol and a man.

Unfortunately after about half a beer and 3 shots of some nasty drink, I felt sick and went home. Alone.

I was in bed and Maddie returned. It wasn't her boyfriend and even though they woke me up, I remained quiet. Maddie's skirt went up and her panties were missing as this guy stuck his fingers inside her.

"Oh, that feels good," she said.

I touched myself. It DID feel good. Of course I had played with myself before, but this was kind of different. It was more exciting.

"Lick my pussy. I need to be good and wet before you stick it in me," Maddie said.

Uh oh. I was turning into a voyeur. A pervert.

I kind of thought the idea of oral sex seemed dirty and gross but both seemed to be enjoying it.

"You were soaked on the way home, but you taste like Heaven," he said.

I had seen plenty of testosterone fueled swimmers with big packages inside their wetsuits and more than a few penises in my time, but when Maddie's boytoy dropped his shorts, I thought he was packing a war club!

"Oh, yeah, I gotta suck this or it will never fit inside my pussy!" she said.

"I bet it will fit in your ass," he replied. "I've seen you fit some big dildos in there."

What?! Ew! NO!

"I want to feel that in my pussy. I want that to stretch me out!"

He apparently leaned in to kiss her, and she stopped him, "No kissing."


"Too personal," she replied.

Kissing is too personal but oral sex and penetration were not?

Before long she was bent over the radiator as he worked himself inside her. He fucked her in front of the open window of our second floor dorm.

"Pull out," she said. "You're not wearing a condom."

When he got close, he asked, "Where?"

She took it on her face like a star. And I came about that time myself, letting out a moan, alerting them to my presence.

The next weekend I went to a party with a guy from my math class. We drank a little, we danced some more, and since Maddie was at her boyfriend's place (not the guy from last weekend) I took him back to my dorm.

For my first time, he was a little rough and we did it traditional missionary style, but the second time he bent me over the same radiator and fucked me like Maddie had been fucked the week before- open window and all.

We used the same condom for both times, which is not smart but I was on the pill. Anyway, we dozed off and I heard him get up. I figured he was just going to the restroom but about an hour later I guessed I woke up and found our soiled rubber on the edge of the garbage can and leaking on my floor.

Also his clothes were gone. He had left.

He didn't return my text on Sunday and Monday in class he wouldn't make eye contact with me when he said, "I'm just not looking for anything, y'know...serious or long term."

He fucked me and left me. Used me. I felt like the soiled condom he left behind. I had opened myself to him and he discarded me.

My next boyfriend had to wait before I got on my back for him and we dated for several months, but eventually we broke up. I felt better about that. At least we both got something more than just sex out of the deal. More experience for one.

I was headed in a direction I was unfamiliar with but seemed to enjoy. Maddie, it turns out, had a "camgirl" business with her boyfriend. They'd sit around for about 2 hours at a time, get naked, play with each other, and usually have sex since that was what most of their subscribers and benefactors wanted to see. And it started out innocently enough for me.

I'd sit on the couch with them, cuddle with Maddie and eventually Dave would get her naked and fuck her and I'd run the camera. But after a while Maddie was having some "issues" and they talked me into letting Dave eat my pussy on camera. No one could see my face, but the whole thing was exciting!

Eventually, we had a threesome. Dave would fuck Maddie while she ate me out. Once Dave fucked me and came in Maddie's mouth.

And our last weekend of college, we had a foursome. With War Club.

Dave fucked Maddie while she ate me out while I sucked War Club. Later that night I took War Club inside my pussy like a champ.

My cam cut for the last month of school was $1400. Did I even need college? I didn't need swimming and sex was fun.

Then Maddie told me she was pregnant. It was probably Dave's, but she wasn't sure.

At that momentnI realized I was not at a crossroads, I was at rock bottom. No more sex until marriage. And I needed to take college seriously.

My sophomore year started with me swimming 3 days a week in the mornings and volunteering to teach swimming lessons at the local YMCA twice a week. Steve was my partner.

What can I say about Steve? I actually went to Prom when he was a senior and I was a freshman. He was good friends with my brother, a little nerdy, or bookish anyway; nice, cute but definitely not the man he was today.

Surprising everyone, he enlisted in the Marines right out of high school and went off to Afghanistan where he apparently was a hero. I was not sure of the details because I was wrapped up in my own exploits.

It felt really important at this time in my life to have him in my life. I needed the lifeline back to my old self and swimming and Steve would get me back there.

"Julie, would you do me a BIG favor?" he asked.

"Sure. What's up?"

He seemed shy, but he started with what seemed like a rehearsed speech, "Remember when we went to Prom? "

"Of course," I said. "I had a life that wasn't 100% about swimming then. It was the only time I went."

"Really?" he asked.

"I was always swimming and finished homeschooling."

"Well, I have a thing coming up. We are having our Military Ball, and our Navy Captain- anyway, I mean, would you like to go...with me? Like a college prom?"

He was so cute and shy. I told him of course I'd go and got a few details. I looked forward to it.

When Steve came to pick me up he was in a full Marine Dress Blue Uniform- you all know the one. Makes women soak their panties and makes guys jealous. He even had a sword!

But he was nervous. Real uncomfortable. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yes, it's- it's just a-" he stammered. I didn't push. I just took his arm and said a little prayer for him.

When we got into line- the Receiving Line as it is called- the other Cadets and Midshipmen all were in what I would call typical ugly military uniforms. Some were jealous at first but then seemed to notice something on his uniform and their demeanor turned into admiration. Almost whispered. Many came up and shook his hand which he told me later was not typical.

The Distinguished Guest of the evening was a Marine Corps general with a prosthetic leg, who actually hugged Steve as we passed through the line. "Sergeant Davis, your Captain and I go back to the Academy together and I did not want to miss this. If it weren't for you..." he said as he cracked up.

His wife spoke up, "Sergeant Davis, thank you again. It's so wonderful to see you. And who is this lovely lady?"

"A friend of mine from high school, and our paths crossed out here, and she graciously agreed to accompany me tonight."

"Is this the famous swimmer?"

When would he have ever talked about me to her?

"Ma'am, General, may I present Miss Julie Haskins?" Steve said.

"Miss Haskins, thank you for coming. Your date, Steven, is one remarkable man." Then the General's wife hugged Steve and whispered what sounded like a "thank you" to him.

I was not sure of what all the fuss was. Sure, Steve was a remarkable man. The people he taught to swim loved him and so did everyone at work. He was kind, giving and truly wanted to help people. But these people seemed to almost worship him.

They kept fussing over him. And looking at a blue ribbon with white stars on his uniform.

"Why didn't you wear the medal?"

"What was it like?"

"How many people did you kill?"

"Is that general the colonel you rescued?"

I was confused.

The dance was fun. I came to learn a little about what Steve did and pieced together why he was nervous. I thought he was having fun, but when he had me alone, he whispered, "Can we leave, please?"

"Sure, Steve. Are you...okay?"

"Yeah, it's just been...alot. This isn't the past I want to relive right now," he said.

"Okay, do you need to tell anyone? Do we just sneak out?" I asked.

"I will whisper to the general and his wife."

We made our way over to the general and his wife and said our goodbyes. We snuck out and walked around Lake Laverne on our way back to my shared apartment. I hoped we would find it empty when we got there. I had sworn off sex, but I felt that whatever happened would be life changing.

Steve told me about his story- that mission, and the little ribbon he wore that night. It had a medal that went with it that most people would recognize as the highest award for bravery, valor and sacrifice.

Most people were awarded that posthumously. But not Steve. He confided in me it probably would have been better, or easier anyway, to have it draped over his coffin than worn around his neck, which was why it was in a box somewhere and he opted for the ribbon instead.

When we got to my place it was dark. My roommate was gone for the weekend so I asked if he wanted to come in. He thought it was the gentlemanly thing to do.

"Can I get you anything to drink, Steve?"

"Just water, please. Julie, can I take this uniform off, please? Just the jacket. It's stifling."

A totally innocent request and at that moment I said a little prayer, hoping to get it all off. I saw Steve as the most genuine, innocent and truly good man I had ever met. I wanted him to take me away with him from all of his pain and worries.

"Sure. Here's your water," I said, handing him a bottle and then asked, "I want to change out of this dress into more casual clothes. 2 minutes, I promise."

It took me 4 minutes but I had my favorite jeans, my sexiest bra, matching panties and a tight sweater. No socks.

My "casual sexy" outfit.

I grabbed a bottle of water and curled up next to him. The jacket, dress shirt and tie were gone. He had his trousers and white undershirt on. I've worked with him in just a swimsuit before and knew he was sexy, but seeing him like this made me feel inadequate. And he had no idea.

"Want to watch a movie or anything?" I asked.

"No. I'm good. How about you?" he asked. "Can I ask you something? Something personal," he asked.

"Sure," I said. I was willing to lay it all out there.

"What's your biggest regret?"

Swimming? The sex cam? Him?

I spelled it all out- swimming, missing my high school years, War Club, partying- all of it. It felt good to get it all off of my chest.

But his silence had me concerned. Did I reveal too much, too fast? Finally, he asked, "Know what mine is?"


"Leaving you behind."

And that was it. I literally had an orgasm right there.

I climbed on top of him and kissed him like I have never kissed anyone before, and he kissed me back with an intensity that I had never felt.

It all happened so fast. My sweater, his undershirt, then our pants- before I knew it, he was in his boxers and I had my sexiest matching bra and panties on, and nothing else. I could feel my heat and his hardness, and wanted to slip over him and ride him until time ended.

But I didn't want a cheap fuck on the couch. I wanted more and he deserved better.

"Steve, my bedroom is down the hall..."

Silently, he picked me up and carried me down the hall though my open door to my waiting bed.

He set me down, and I slowly- not agonizingly slow, but not too eagerly fast either- dropped the remainder of my clothes. I stood before him in all my glory. I was proud of my body but hoped I had pleased him.

By the wetspot in the front of his boxers, I assumed he appreciated me.

I climbed on the bed and laid back, opening my legs for him. He climbed in bed and got down next to me, using his fingers to touch my pussy lips. I found his cock, gently squeezed and started to slowly stroke him.

"Julie, I have thought about this for a long time," he whispered.

"Time's up. I need you, Steve."

"I don't...have...a..."

"It's fine."

He rolled over on top of me, and I shifted my hips upward, taking him inside of me. Two thrusts and he was all the way inside of me. We weren't quiet, but wordlessly we connected and sensed what the other wanted and needed. Steve filled me up through two orgasms and came inside me for the first time that night. And a second time. Then we showered, slept, a couple more times...

You get the idea.

We spent all weekend together in the sheets, on the table, the couch, chair, shower. Even the balcony.

I was not pregnant after that weekend, or even that month. I was not pregnant when he asked my father for my hand in marriage, when he officially was released from the military, or when I walked down the aisle to be joined in marriage with him.

I would like to say it was happily ever after, but Steve's life in our first couple of years did had a few storm clouds. But I never regretted a single minute.

5 years later...

I awoke to a single gunshot.

Counseling had been helpful, but his current project had dredged up some demons. I sometimes had a fear that one day the demons would win.

Then a second shot.

The morning sickness had ended, but I was going through my own hell in my 9th month of pregnancy. Any day now. God I hoped so anyway. We were both ready.

The cabin was warm so I didn't even bother tying my robe. I hated clothes since nothing fit and the liar said he loved to see my pregnant body. He actually sounded sincere.

I waddled over to the door of the cabin and found him shooting at prairie dogs from the porch. "Whatcha doin'?" I asked.

"I heard from Paul today," he said. Paul was his agent.


"The third book is guaranteed after the success of the first one, and he found a producer. We start next month on the screenplay."

"That's great!" I said, trying to bend down to kiss him. I could kiss the top of his head was about all.

"My god, you look sexy!" he said, standing up, taking me by the hand.

"Ugh, I feel fat, horrible and...what are you doing?"

"After the baby comes, we will have to take a break, so I plan on taking advantage of our privacy," he said, continuing to drag me off to our bedroom.

I wanted him probably more than he wanted me since I was craving sex, but I also enjoyed the compliments and fished for them at every chance.

"So we are headed back to California soon?" I asked.

"No, Florida. I insisted you would be more comfortable there, and they agreed. We have 3 more days in the Dakota wilderness and I intend to use it to my advantage," he said, dropping my robe on the floor.

I knew the deal, and so did he. I was going to pretend to make him beg and wait, as I was climbing into bed, rolling over on my side so he could enter me.

He gently made love to me, and we thought it was one of our best. But we soon realized it wasn't cum, it was my water breaking.

"Steve, I think we may be staying in The Dakotas just a bit longer," I said...