The last hour of the day is always the longest. Bags run out, someone goes on lunch and there's a line out the door, an old lady wants to return a jar of half-eaten pasta sauce, all as you're trying to clear your line, count your till, and leave. I was hungry, tired, and ready to take this damn mask off. And on top of it, I had several Grocery-Maxx orders come through that were going to be late if I didn't clock out on time.
It was convenient working at the local supermarket but also delivering for Grocery-Maxx; I could accept orders near the end of my shift, pick up stuff while I was there, and drop them off to people's houses on my way home. It made me a little extra money, and it didn't force me to go to any new locations.
Finally my shift ended and I checked my phone, hoping for several orders that would potentially pay for my lunches this week; alas, there was one order. I accepted it, clocked out, and grabbed a cart to start picking up the items. But as I checked my phone again I stopped, and stared in confusion.
My customer had ordered a single cucumber.
"Well that's not suspicious at all," I said out loud, joking with Mike about the order.
"Probably some horny teenage girl stuck at home," He said.
"Or a cam-girl whose dildo broke."
"Or some chick trying to start an OnlyFans and needs it for a dare."
I put the basket away, purchased the most phallic cucumber I could find, and went on my way.
The address brought me to a small apartment complex just two miles from the supermarket. The oddity of the situation kept buzzing in my head; who the hell orders a single cucumber? And why?
It was probably a stay-at-home mom who had forgotten the vegetable for a recipe, I told myself as I climbed the steps to the correct apartment. Or maybe it was an old lady who just really liked cucumbers and she didn't want to leave the house. There was no way it was actually some horny chick planning to fuck the thing.
Before I knocked on the door, I looked at the cucumber in the plastic bag. "Good luck, little buddy," I said, and knocked on the door.
It flew open almost as soon as I knocked, as if the resident had been standing by the door waiting. She was around five foot six, curvy, crazy fire-red hair, and a horrified expression. Without making eye contact with me, she reached forward, grabbed the bag from my hand, and slammed the door shut.
Well okay then, I thought. Maybe I was right after all.
I had been pacing, waiting for that damn cucumber to arrive for almost twenty minutes. I was horny as hell, frustrated, and a little embarrassed. I definitely should have ordered some potatoes or lettuce or something, I thought. But getting on Grocery-Maxx and just ordering an organic dildo had seemed like a good idea at the time. Finally I heard a knock at the door. I opened it, grabbed the bag without looking at the delivery guy, and slammed the door shut.
Phew, I thought. That was dumb. And embarrassing. But I was still horny, and my vibrator wasn't doing the job today, so hopefully it would be worth it.
As I was locking the door, I heard him laugh and say, "I tried to find a really good one!" I grimmaced and looked through the peep-hole. He had an obnoxious smirk on his face, his thumbs tucked into his jeans. He was about my height, maybe an inch or two taller, kind of lanky, and wore jeans and a red polo. His hair was black and cut short, and he had a septum piercing. I could see the edges of a tattoo peeking out from the sleeve of his shirt.
He was actually pretty good looking.
I went to turn and wash my prize, but he kept talking, loud enough that the neighbors could probably hear. "You might wanna soak it in hot water first, we keep those things in the fridge. Might be... uncomfortable."
I rolled my eyes. Should have ordered tomatoes too. I turned and stomped away to the sink when he yelled again.
"Might be a little tricky to get the speed and angle right, do you need a hand?"
Oh for fuck's sake. I was going to report this snarky son of a bitch as soon as I was level-headed enough to think straight. I went back to the door and threw it open again.
"The fuck do you want," I snapped.
"I'm more of a carrot myself," he raised an eyebrow. "But it's an organic carrot."
I found myself staring at his crotch. Shit. There was a bulge. It didn't look massive but it was there. I looked at his face. Fucking hell, he was actualy cute.
"You messing with me or being serious," I said, hoping to call his bluff. This guy was being a total dick.
But... that's why we're here, I thought. I wanted dick. I hadn't gotten laid in almost four months. I was going to lose it.
"I'll wear a mask, if you want," he shrugged.
I didn't even know this guy. Hell I didn't know his name. He was a total stranger who literally showed up at my door with a cucumber.
Fuck it, I'd done worse.
I pursed my lips, opened the door wider, and nodded my head for him to come in. He grinned like he'd won a bet.
As he sauntered forward to come inside, he opened his mouth to say something else snarky, but I cut him off. "Shut the fuck up."
He raised his hands in defeat, and kicked his shoes off, looking at me expectantly. Shit, I realized. Now that he was in my house, some of my nerve had gone.
I tried to encourage myself. Dude you literally hooked up with a set of brothers in January, you don't even remember what they look like and it was the best sex of your life. If it sucks, you can kick him out.
"You clean," I asked.
"Clean and filthy," he winked.
What a dweeb, I thought, and I rolled my eyes, turning and walking quickly back towards my bedroom. This had better be worth it. "You coming or what," I yelled over my shoulder.
"I fucking hope so," he laughed.
I was only wearing a bathrobe anyway, so I threw it in the corner and climbed onto my bed. He came in after me, saw me naked on my bed, and his eyes widened like a ten-year-old boy seeing porn for the first time.
"Shit, girl," he said as he pulled off his shirt, tossing it in the corner. "Didn't expect to be fucking Venus today!"
"Stop making bad jokes, you're drying me out." He chuckled and unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down over narrow hips. I could feel his eyes on me as he pulled his boxers off.
He wasn't wrong. He was more of a carrot. But a pretty decent carrot. Maybe five inches long, and two or three inches in diameter. I couldn't really tell and I didn't really care.
"You'd better make this fucking worth it," I muttered. "If you cum in three strokes, you're not getting a tip."
He climbed onto my bed, crawling forwards on his hands and knees until he was close enough to kiss. I pulled my head back a little.
"What do you like," he said, his voice softer and less sarcastic.
"Fast. Rough. Pull my hair. You're not gonna hurt me."
"You want me to tie you up first?"
I drew back in surprise. "No, bitch, I don't even know your name! And I don't want to!" I cut him off as he opened his mouth to tell it to me. "Just... for god's sake I need a cock inside me and I need it now."
He didn't need to be told twice.
He grinned and put a hand on my chest, shoving me down on the bed and pinning me there. He held me down, not hard enough that I couldn't get up, but just enough that I didn't really want to fight it. He readjusted and pulled my legs open, bending my knees and pushing them up towards my chest, and slid inside.
He groaned a little as he began to thrust, slowly and then building speed. He kept pushing my knees higher up towards my chest, which lifted my ass a little off of the bed. He scooted closer, put my legs over his shoulders, and then grabbed my hips, and started really going at it with as much force as he could.
I'll say this about carrots. They satisfy just fine. Hell he wasn't close to the biggest dick I'd ever had, but damn if that angle wasn't doing it for me. I was already super turned on, and had been playing with my vibrator for a while, but the combination of a hot body and an actual cock, and my favorite position had me moaning in no time. "Oh damn I'm close," I growled. "Shit. Fuck! Don't stop."
"Oh babe I'm not stopping anytime soon," he said, and upped the speed and intensity of his thrusts. Then with he reached forward and started playing with my tits, squeezing them tightly, rolling and twisting my nipples in his fingers. It sent me over the edge and I came hard, relief and fire washing through me. I relaxed into the pillows, letting him have his fun and finish up before I kicked him out.
He had other ideas. He pulled out of me and scooted back, grabbing me by the hips and rolling me onto my stomach. "Get on your knees," he growled. His voice was gruff and thick, and he was panting. I bent my knees and readjusted, and he pushed my head and shoulders down into the bed so my face was in the mattress.
"Hey," I mumbled, but shut up when I felt him slide back in. An arm came around me and I felt him pull me back up to my hands, his hand tightly gripping my shoulder and his forearm pressing into my neck.
"You wanna come again, sweet cheeks?" he growled in my ear, and with his other hand, smacked my ass hard. It surprised me and I yelped, but then he was gripping me, his forearm pushing into the side of my throat just right, and started fucking me again.
How the hell, I thought, as I felt myself getting warm again, that familiar trickle of heat settling and building in my hips. "Fuck," I said, and it came out as an embarrassing moan. "Don't stop."
"Not a chance." He kept thrusting, never missing a beat, not changing a damn thing like a good fucktoy, and pretty soon I was right on the edge of another orgasm.
"I'm going to cum," he panted.
"Don't you fucking dare!" I shouted. "Don't you dare, I am right there, I swear to god!"
"Ahh," he gasped, and pulled me tighter. "You'd better hurry up then."
"I can't cum on command!" I yelled.
"I bet you can, you little slut." Then he surprised me by letting go of my shoulder and letting me fall forward, only to scoop up my hair in his hand and pull me up by it. That did the trick.
We both rode out our orgasms and collapsed over, facing away from each other, and I felt the slow, warm drop of his cum sliding down my legs as I tried to catch my breath.
"You need a plan B," He asked as he got his breath back.
"Nope," I sighed. Eyes closed, I lifted my hand and pointed to the bedside table where my birth control lay.
"'Kay," he said, and groaned. "Fuckin' hell, that was-"
"Get out," I said. I did not want sarcastic pillowtalk from a stranger I'd just fucked instead of a cucumber.
"But I just got here."
"You have three minutes to get your shit and get out of my house." I leaned over and grabbed a washcloth that had fallen off of my steadily-growing pile of clean laundry, and shoved it between my legs.
"Whatever, princess," he sighed, and rolled out of the bed. He grabbed his clothes and went to the bathroom.
Fuck I can't believe I just did that, I thought. There's a pandemic. What if he has it and now my quarantine is all for nothing? Damn I'm so dumb. I never should have ordered that cucumber, and I never should have opened the door for him.
I heard him leave the bathroom and walk out towards my front door, but the door didn't open. A minute later, he came back into my room. I was still on my side, facing away from him.
"Well I was just thinking. This thing is pretty big. But you're all warmed up now, so if you want me to give it a shot..."
I rolled over to look at him and said, "the fuck are you talking about?"
He was holding the cucumber, studying me carefully, his face mostly blank except that little bit of a smirk.
"Do you want me to fuck you with this thing?"
"Give me that," I got on my knees and walked over to where he stood. He held it out of reach.
"Actually, I just have one question. You have a vibe laying on the ground next to the bed. Why did you order this instead of batteries?"
"Cause it's not out of batteries," I shot back. "It just wasn't getting me off."
He looked at me carefully, then back to the cucumber, and back to me again. "Lay down."
He walked around to the other side of my bed and I felt myself get frustrated. "Look, dude, I let you in for one reason only, and that reason is complete, and I'm ready to go shower and shitpost on Facebook now. So if you could please get the hell out of my- what are you... hey."
He grabbed my vibe off the ground and climbed back onto my bed, setting them both to the side. Then he grabbed my legs and rolled me onto my back, and spread them widely, bending my knees and opening me up like a butterfly. I felt obnoxiously exposed.
Wordlessly, he pressed the make-shift toy-now room temperature from sitting on my counter- against my pussy, slowly moving it up and down, not pushing it in all the way, like he was teasing me. I stopped mouthing off and stared at him for a moment, anxious and feeling myself get a little warm again. Slowly, a little at a time, he pushed it in, and let it come back out, pushing me to take a little more every time. He held it firmly with his fingers, though it kept slipping and he had to keep moving his hand position. Finally he dug his fingernails into the edge of the thing to keep it in place, and he slowly began to fuck me with the cucumber.
It was twice as big as he was, but he was right, I was warm and pretty stretched out, and his cum was a good lube. My breathing picked up and a tingle started in my gut, but it was just turning me on again. He couldn't get it fast enough to make me cum.
I looked away from the cucumber sliding in and out of me, and up to his face. He had that mischievous look in his eye, and he reached for my vibe, clicking the buttons and finding the highest setting, and then smirked as he pressed it against my clit.
"Oh fucking hell," I moaned as he sped up and pressed the vibe harder. I squirmed as he tortured me, forcing not one, but two more orgasms out of my tired horny body before I begged him to stop. My clit was throbbing and when he pulled the cucumber out, I felt stretched out.
"You wanna keep this or..." he looked at the cucumber, slimy with cum and dripping juice from where he'd dug his nails in to get a good grip.
"Throw it in the trash on your way out," I rolled my eyes. I expected another sarcastic comment, but there wasn't one.
Before he left my room, he looked back at me. "If you ever need any more vegetables, just place your order before six and I'll be by..." He winked, and left. I heard the front door open and shut a few minutes later.
I rode that high for the rest of the night, halfway terrified I'd have the virus, halfway not really caring. It was such a relief to have an actual person get me off that I didn't even really care. Over the next few days my mind kept flashing back to our encounter; his cheeky comments, the way his voice got gruff and demanding when he'd bossed me around, and that perfect angle he'd hit while he'd been pulling my hair. I'd masturbated to the memory over the next few days but my orgasms weren't nearly as satisfying or as intense as they'd been with him. Whoever he was. I was feeling frustrated, and halfway wondering if he'd just show up at my door again. I almost hoped he would. Sure enough, four days later, there was a knock at the door.
I looked through the peephole, initially hopeful, but then a little shocked that he actually had the audacity to come by. I opened the door.
"I'm not a booty call," I said harshly.
"No, no way."
We were both quiet for a moment. He had a smug expression on his face.
"You can't just show up at my apartment whenever you want sex."
"I wouldn't dream of it."
Another pause. He looked me right in the eyes, waiting for me to make my choice. No mouthing off, no sarcastic banter... just waiting. Like he knew what I was going to say.
I rolled my eyes and sighed, and opened the door.