Hannah had accosted Janie early in the walk, her high pitched constant stream-of-consciousness providing the soundtrack to the hike. Eden and Janie exchanged sympathetic glances. Janie shrugged her shoulders and set to prepping some of the lunch as Hannah talked over her shoulder.
Over lunch, more stories and laughs were shared. The group had formed a bond quite quickly, Eden mused, probably due to the shared experience of watching Matilda expose herself completely, pleasure and body on full display. It was something like a secret society, even though Eden reasoned that Matilda did this all the time, for money. She knew what she was doing.
After lunch, more breathing, more listening, more sense exploration in the surrounds of nature. Water trickling , fresh air, birds and insects punctuating the stillness with happy chirps. Next it was time to partner up, and Eden drew the short straw with Hannah. The task was to talk about body insecurities, and listen to another perspective.
"How old are you?" Hannah had no tact. Which was charming to some extent.
"I'm in my thirties. I have two children, and a husband."
"Woah. You got it all made. Why'd you need to come here?"
Eden was silent.
"Oh right, you're the orgasm lady. What did she call it? Analgasmia?"
"Anorgasmia."
"Right. What did I say?"
"Something similar. Tell me Hannah, why are you here?"
"Oh, I have some issues I need to work out I guess. Just thought this seemed like the right kind of thing?"
"Is it?"
"I'm not sure yet. I've really liked the exercises. But..." Hannah didn't complete her thought, for what Eden assumed might have been the first time ever.
"Let's just do the exercise, Hannah. What's your favourite part of your body?"
"My ass I guess. It's round, and sits up pretty high, and I like the way it jiggles when I walk. I don't put any effort in to it, but it seems right to me. What about you?"
"My stomach. 15 years ago I would have said my legs or my boobs or something. But I'm glad I have kept a flat stomach. So many women my age can't keep their tummies close, and probably not their fault, but I'm happy I'm still trim. What about your least favourite?"
"My arms I guess. But, you know, I think I look ok. People, or boys at least, like the look of me. What about you?"
"My arms and back. That's my own fault, every year I say I'm going to start strengthening them up. It never happens. Hey Hannah?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are you here? What are your issues?"
"Oh. They're not real issues. Just my own little quirks."
"Like?"
"Well, I don't really love sex that much."
"I don't think I did when I was your age either. You get better at it. Not that I should be giving advice."
"Actually, that's not quite what I meant. I do like sex, but only in very particular circumstances."
"In an ideal world, what would you have Hannah."
"Just... you know. I like the attention of... say... some people?"
"Like an audience? Do you like people looking at you? Is that what this is about?"
Hannah's reddened face looked at her feet.
"It's a bit weird right?"
"Not at all. Would you like to know something Hannah?"
"What?"
"I have orgasmed before. When I was about your age. And it was because I got so riled up after I lost a bet and had to strip down at a party. In fact, the only times I've even been close to orgasm has been when I've been exposed. I think I have an exhibitionist streak, like you."
"Woah. I would never have... I'm... I'm speechless." Hannah stared intently into Edens eyes with a familiarity that made Eden uncomfortable.
Matilda called the group back for a debrief. And all too soon it was time to head back to the cabins.
———————-
Some free time after their hike afforded the women some time to lounge by the pool, swim and drink cocktails. Maree and Audrey were sun baking, Janie was swimming laps, and Hannah had sidled up to Eden, leaning on the steps half-submerged.
"It's weird huh?"
"Hmm?" Eden replied lazily.
"This morning we're all sitting around, naked, with our hands up our pussies, and now we're all wearing bathers."
Eden had been contemplating the same thing herself. "It's like what Matilda spoke about. Sexuality is context dependent. And pleasure is another thing altogether."
"So it was ok because...?"
"It was in context this morning. We were doing an exercise in pleasure. Being naked now would be out of context I suppose. There is a lot of different ways to experience pleasure, it doesn't all have to happen below the waist."
"Matilda says it's all in your head anyway."
"That, Hannah, is absolutely true."
Hannah sat in silence contemplating the scene in front of her. Eden lifted her sunglasses and sat up, an inquisitive stare directed at the young woman.
"What's the matter Hannah?"
"I'm just thinking."
"Thinking about what?"
"Just that I'd like to be naked right now, but I don't really know why. I don't feel sexy, or feel like touching myself... I. Just. Want. To."
"I guess it heightens your senses in any context?" Eden theorised, "The air and water on your skin, the anticipation of danger... Even if it's not explicitly sexual, it can still be ... nice."
Hannah brought her knees to her chest and rested her chin in top her her hands. She looked like a puppy on a rainy day, when an outside play was an impossibility.
Imperceptibly to Hannah, Eden reached behind her back and undid her bikini top, swivelling round to drop it on the pool deck. A swift motion left her bottoms joining the top, and Eden dove in head first in front of a startled Hannah, her white behind quickly disappearing under the wash.
Eden swam a lap, passing a focussed Jamie, returning to a bemused Hannah who sat unmoved on the step.
"It does feel good Hannah, feel free to join!"
Hannah needed no second invitation. A metaphorical and literal weight was lifted as Hannah removed her top and bottoms and became once again an unburdened youth.
They floated around the pool as Hannah's verbosity was let loose; stories of workplace politics in a law firm, her mother's attitude to dog grooming, a thesis on why Christmas trees are an affront to the environmental movement. The latter showed that Hannah's mind was often moving as fast as her mouth.
Out of the pool, Maree and Audrey had been watching with casual disinterest, sipping from martini glasses and enjoying the warm weather. Janie, after a torturous session, had disrobed too, lying face down with a towel covering her backside.
"I'm ready to hop out now" Hannah had said mid story about a panda doll that had gone missing when she was 8.
"Ok, me too I think. It must nearly be dinner?"
"I'm ready to hop out of the water," Hannah said again, but there was an implicit message that Eden read correctly.
"You can be however you want to be here Hannah."
"What about you?"
"I'm the same. I can be free to be what I feel like."
"But... how do you feel?"
"Will it make you feel more comfortable if I was to join you in some casual nudism?"
"I think it would, yes."
Eden had intuited that Hannah just wanted to remain nude for the evening. It was something that was on Eden's mind too. Eden didn't feel self conscious about being seen. She felt comfortable with the participants, and didn't feel like she would be judged for her body. It was her desire on display that she felt uncomfortable with. But, this weekend was about pushing herself, and she'd never have to interact with these people again. What the hell.
"Sure Hannah, I can join you." Eden rose out of the water and grabbed her towel off the fence. She draped it down her front while she dried her hair, following a well worn drying routine down the length of her body. Usually, at the end, she would wrap her towel around her, but in the spirit of camaraderie Eden threw her towel over one shoulder. Hannah was drying herself while staring at Eden, waiting for a signal as to what to do next.
"Shall we go to dinner?"
———-
The corners of Matilda's mouth turned up at the sight of the two carefree women entering the hall.
"Glad you are feeling comfortable ladies. You both look absolutely wonderful."
Eden spoke as Hannah was still a little sheepish, standing in behind her shoulder. "Thanks Matilda. Maybe we are just anticipating this evenings session?"
"We shall have to see how the night unfolds," she replied with a wink.
Dinner was a light salad and wine, and the attire of the two women didn't draw any comments. Just a few knowing nods and abashed smiles. Then it was time for a session in the circle.
"This evening we are exploring the scenes that get you turned on. It might be a fantasy, a song, a feeling, a memory... any and all of the above. For me, being a dedicated hippy, I just try and visualise energy moving through me, and try to connect with my sexual spirit. Externally, a romance novel, or even an erotic story can help me start to get my energy flowing. And then once it's started, I can utilise that energy for my satisfaction. As you've seen. Would anybody like to share what their turn on is?"
Janie wasn't shy. "I like touch. Starting from early in a date, like light brushes against my hand, or a pat on the back. Or holding hands, footsies under the table... that sort of thing. Then as get home, lots of rubbing, kissing, massage... as long as we are close, I'm good to go!"
There were some agreeing murmurs and stifled laughs amongst the group.
"Sometimes touch can be the the worst thing too." It was Audrey who spoke. Embarrassed eyes looked down, before Matilda spoke up.
"Irrespective of your partner, there are things that we get excited about. Not just sexually, but things that we look forward too. A day at the beach, dinner with friends... we all long for connection. Our own sexuality is an extension of that connection. What we are looking for is what gets us sexually interested in the first place. Let's leave others out of it. What gets YOU excited."
This required some contemplation. Eden could have answered straight away, and Hannah was looking over at her to lead the way. She cleared her throat.
"Hannah and I were discussing this earlier, actually. The reason we decided to disrobe before dinner is that we both get excited by being observed... or at least the risk of it. I'm not embarrassed at all about being nude right now... it feels... quite natural here. But I get a bit intrigued about being sexual in front of people. And I suppose nudity is often the first part of being sexual."
"I'd disagree with the last part Eden, but I get your drift," Matilda interjected. "Sexuality has to start inside your head, before it gets anywhere near your skin. What is it about risk that gets you excited?"
Again, a topic that had been on Eden mind for some time, and she had a ready answer.
"Well, any risk is exciting. Like bunjee jumping for example. It's not comfortable, it makes you nervous, but you get excited about it. You anticipate it. It triggers some part of you that needs that feeling. I think being exposed is a bit the same. It's a bit exciting, and risky, and taboo. And the best way to experience it is to do it, rather than observe it. To be honest, it's the the only thing I can think of that actually gets me going. Even though I love the intimate moments with my husband, that's less about my own sexuality, and more about... I don't know... our relationship I suppose."
There was silence around the circle as Edens words sunk in. Louder than her normal speaking voice, Audrey spoke,
"For so long, my fantasy was just to get away. That's why I'm here. I need a new fantasy."
And with that, she stood and peeled off her top and pants. Once nude, she spun around, her arms up over her head like a mannequin for display. To whoops, cheers and applause, Audrey, now flushed and proud, sat down, her back a little straighter, and head a little higher.
Most of the participants were nude now, and Janie, sitting next to Maree, leaned over and whispered in her ear. Maree nodded in response. Matilda continued.
"Anyone else? If not, let's try the same fantasy together. Close your eyes and imagine this scene with me:
— You're sitting on beach. Wearing a newly purchased bikini, which is more revealing than what you'd usually wear. It comes up higher over the hips, hangs lower over your cleavage, and sneaks up your back side when you walk. You're by yourself, but the early morning beach is filled with dog walkers and exercisers, the odd surfer bobbing up and down over the waves.
You are lying back enjoying the soft sun, the sounds as smells of the ocean. The breeze is tingling your skin, giving you goose pimples, so you rub your hands over your belly for warmth. You progress up your body, eventually giving your breasts some attention over your bathing suit. Your nipples harden from your own touch, and you start to feel just a little aroused.
You slip your top off, having a quick glance around the beach, but no one seems interested, so you lie back and get comfortable again. Now there is a warmth starting from down below, and almost subconsciously, you place your hand over your mound and press lightly down against your vulva. With your knees raised, it would be hard to see for a passerby, but if one was determined, you could be discovered.
You glance around the beach, and there is no one walking close by for quite some time, so you begin moving your hand up and down, occasionally slipping a finger under the side of your bikini bottoms, tracing the line of your vulva where your lips start.
You continue this, and feel a little lost in the moment when you thinks you'd better check your surroundings again. There is still no one on the beach, but when you begin to resume your exploration, between your legs, you can see a surfer, floating on his board, with his eyes trained directly on you. He doesn't move, except for manoeuvring over some early breaking waves, he continues to face you directly, paddling to keep his point of view between your knees.
You continue your movements over your vulva, this time tilting your head to watch the surfer between your knees. You move your bottoms to the side so a finger can access your outer lips, and some circular motions around your clit.
The surfer rides a gentle wave in closer to shore, until his board grinds against the sand in the shallows. He remains on his board, lying on his tummy, propped up on his elbows, a mischievous grin lighting up his young face.
You are working with some momentum now, you can't help but buck your hips in time to your increasing exploratory finger, and your bottoms have involuntarily started to slide down your thighs. You give in to the external, and feel the pleasure emanate up through your pussy, through your tummy, shoulders and head, which arches back in the sand in ecstasy.
You don't know how long you are like this, but when you open your eyes again, the surfer is standing nearby, not enough to cast a shadow, but near enough to be deliberately intrusive. He nods a gentle encouragement, and you close your eyes and give your self to the moment as the energy from your body circulates, radiates in waves from head to toe. Your body convulses, and as each wave from the ocean comes crashing down nearby, you can feel your orgasm crashing, receding, and building like a wave to crash again. There is only white light, only energy, you feel like you a star that is shooting at astronomical speed through the night sky. And then, it fizzles and fades, and you come to your senses.
The surfer, who hasn't moved, blows you a kiss and turns and heads off down the beach. You are left with the after glow of orgasm, mirrored by the tides, the sounds, and the smells of the ocean.—
What Eden had presumed to be the sound of birds squawking, she now realised, as she became aware, was in fact the sound of 3 ladies deeply involved in their own pleasure. Hannah, Janie and Audrey were lost in their own version of the fantasy, riding Matildas words until their own orgasm was released.
Eden could only watch in jealousy. Even hearing the word orgasm was enough to get inside her own head and break the spell of Matildas voice. She looked over at Maree, who stared impassively around the room. She gave Eden a small shrug of the shoulders as if to say "we'll we can't all be experts". Eden did wonder where Maree was at.
But now, it was time for bed.
—————————————
Rising early, Eden thought she could take an early morning walk. As she stepped out she found an envelope with her name on it slipped under the door:
There is no session this morning. Your task is to prepare a presentation for the group about how you experience pleasure. Show, or tell, as much or as little as you feel comfortable. See you after lunch.
With a whole morning ahead of her, Eden put on some good shoes and stepped out into the bright morning sunshine, expecting to get some breath flowing; just some exercise was what she needed.
Reflecting on what she might present (this was evidently the task Janie had hinted at), Eden didn't feel self-conscious about showing, given where they had all got to over the last few sessions. But. There was a sickening at the pit of her stomach. It was putting her failure on display that most bothered her. She would be presenting what a failure looks like.
Briskly, Eden walked in the opposite direction to yesterday's sojourn, quickly sweating and panting as she traversed imperceptibly steep hillsides. Trying to get in the zone, Eden imagined herself as Lady Godiva, riding through a curious crowd of onlookers. In reality, the cows were a poor imitation of voyeurs.
What would it take? How would Eden be able to get out of her own head right at the critical moment, to let herself give control over to her senses. Maybe that's what it was about; control. She had always thought herself to be a capable feminist, able to mix it with the most manly of men. She prided herself on her control of her emotions, but at what expense? She didn't know her own body.
Under a large fig tree Eden contemplated this conundrum, without feeling a single thing that could be called desire. What's the problem? She was too analytical. She liked an audience. She could pleasure herself. She had good relationships. She was healthy. She held herself back right when... when what? When her body was about to take over from her mind. Control. She needed to be in control. Or; she needed to be out of control. She needed... someone else to be in control. To take away her ability to think. Or to stop. Yes. That might just be it.
Eden formulated her plan on the walk back to the accommodation.
——————————-
"How's it coming along Hannah?"
"Good! I think I've got a show that demonstrates my desires and pleasures. It should be fun, I'm really looking forward to it. What about you?"
"That's why I needed to talk to you. Would you be able to do something for me?"
"Of course! I think I owe you one after yesterday. What's up?"
"I just need some help during one part of my demo. Could you?"
"Yeah. What do I need to do?"
Eden explained it to Hannah, who was unusually attentive, stopping to ask a question here and there, and at the end she gave Eden a hug.
"I hope this will work for you Eden. I'd love to help as much as I can. I need to do some practice, so I'll see you later?"
The curtains were drawn in the main hall for the last, performance session, and some candles and soft lights made a very inviting, relaxing space. All the women were dressed more or less conservatively; Audrey in her yoga pants and top, Janie in a back knee length dress, Maree in her jeans and top, Hannah in a loose fitting summer skirt.
"Ok ladies, this session is just about sharing what brings you pleasure, however that might look. We want to encourage and support each of you, wherever you are at in your journey. And hopefully we can learn a few things along the way. Maree, you've asked to go first. You're up!"
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