I wake up to the sun streaming through my window and glance at the clock by my bed to see that it is after 10am. That was the deepest sleep I've had since I moved. Must be because I no longer have to lie awake tossing and turning wondering when my life will change. I stretch my naked body and my hand brushes against my vibrator, still out after my late night orgasm. I remember rule number 4: Must use vibrator every morning for 5 minutes with no orgasm. I sigh, this is going to be tough. Especially considering rule number 3: Only orgasm once a day, after 8pm.
I let my fingers move down my body towards my pussy and feel that I am already wet.
"I must've had some pretty good dreams last night" I mutter to myself as my fingers slide down into my pussy, easily moving in and out of myself. I realize I'm already heading towards an orgasm and pull my fingers out. I can see my pussy juices almost dripping off them and put my fingers in my mouth, running my tongue around them tasting every drop. Once my fingers are clean I pick up my phone from next to my bed and set a 5 minute timer. I take a deep breath, not knowing how I will manage 5 minutes without orgasming. I pick up my vibrator and turn it on to the lowest, most gentle vibration it has, and start my timer.
I slide the vibrator between my legs resting it on my swollen clit. My eyes shut as I begin to moan softly. Even though it is on the lowest setting I can feel each vibration pulsating through my pussy. I move the vibrator down and push it inside me. This is more manageable than on my clit, so I sigh in relief. I decide I need to distract myself instead of focusing on the growing arousal between my legs. Unfortunately all I can bring myself to think about is my lists of rules and punishments. I picture myself sitting on a bus full of people, legs spread touching myself for them all to see. I imagine how I will feel if I have to punish myself by standing naked and blindfolded in my window, and imagine I can feel hundreds of eyes looking up at me from the street. I feel my arousal building as the vibrations pulse through me and I lose myself in my thoughts. Then my timer goes off and I am pulled back to the present. I pull the vibrator out of me and throw it across the bed. I sit up breathing heavily, sweat coating my body. That was far too close. I will need to pull myself together and find a way to get through that 5 minutes every morning. My pussy aches for the orgasm it almost had.
I shake my head and get out of bed and head to the bathroom for a shower to wash the sweat from my body. I don't even touch between my legs out of fear I will lose control. Once out of the shower I without thinking use the toilet. It's only once I flush that I realise that rule 6 only allows me to use the toilet twice a day. Oh well I will just have to control myself today. I laugh out loud - control seems to be my weakness if this morning is any indication. I stand and look at myself in the mirror, naked with my long brown hair messy and draped over my shoulders covering my tits. I pull my hair up into a tight ponytail at the back of my head to stop it from covering my body. I should be on display at all times, even if there is no one around to see me.
Finished in the bathroom I head to my computer and am about to sit down when I remember rule number 8: must sit on a dildo any time you sit on a chair. I go to my bedside drawer and slide it open to see my pathetic collection of sex toys. I pull out the only dildo I have - a small purple silicone one that is only about 6 inches long, and make a mental note that I will need to fulfill my fantasy of going to a sex shop pretty soon given my slim options at home.
I slide the dildo into my pussy which was once again wet, and sit down at my computer. The dildo is uncomfortable and noticeable but small and thin enough that I am able to mostly ignore it. I pull up my list of fantasies and look through it to decide what to do with my day. I contemplate visiting the sex shop today but the thought of actually going inside it made my stomach turn so I decided against it. I look at number 3: Create online profile to post pictures, and number 4: Talk to people online about my fantasies. They seem like something I could be comfortable with today, so I do a quick search online for a website that I could join and come across one that seems almost like a social media site for absolutely any kink or fetish and decide I'll give it a try.
I click on the website and begin to create my account. It asks me what name I want to go by on the site and I type in "SecretSubmissive", since that is who I currently am and I want to use this to grow and explore so that I become a not-so-secret submissive. I continue to fill out my basic information and within a couple of minutes my profile is set up and I am on the website. I look at my very basic profile:
SecretSubmissive - Australia
23F - submissive
I am in the process of exploring and expanding my submissive nature. I have always known I am submissive, and have spent the last few months wanting desperately to let that side of me become my life. I have recently begun to take steps to change my lifestyle to match the life I have fantasized about for years and this profile is one of those steps.
I want to use this website to show my submissive side as it grows and changes, as well as connect with people who can help me along in this lifestyle and my goal of becoming a true submissive.
I want to do this slowly, building confidence in my submission step by step. I have written myself a list of goals and fantasies (this profile being one of them), as well as a list of rules to follow and punishments for when I break those rules. That being said I appreciate anybody who tries to push me harder and am very open to discussing all aspects of submission with you all.
I look at the blank square where my profile picture should be. I don't have any sexy or erotic pictures, I have always been to afraid of something like that getting shared. But now I want to share that side of me so I need to take some pictures. As soon as I make that decision my stomach ties up in knots and my palms start to sweat with nerves. I decide that photos can wait until after breakfast, so I stand up letting the dildo slide easily out of my pussy and head to the kitchen. I pour myself a bowl of cereal and am about to take my first mouthful when I remember rule number 7: Only eat from a dog bowl on the floor. I think to myself that I should put a copy of the rules out here so I don't forget anything while I am still getting used to the changes.
I put my bowl of cereal down on the bench and go to the cupboard to look for a dog bowl. I know I have one somewhere that a friend had given me before I moved as encouragement to get a dog so I wouldn't be lonely. I wonder how they would feel if they knew I was going to be the one eating from it.
After a few minutes I found the bowl. It was a plain stainless steel bowl, roughly 20 centimeters wide. I place it on the kitchen floor and grab my bowl of cereal which is now a soggy mess, and pour it into the dog bowl. I kneel down on the cold tile floor in front of the bowl, place my hands either side and bend forward to eat. The cereal has soaked up most of the milk so it is now a wet chunky mess. I try to eat it without getting it all over my face but it is impossible. I sigh, and open my mouth wide before putting the whole bottom half of my face into the bowl to eat.
The cereal is almost as cold as the floor, and as I am reaching the bottom of the bowl my nipples which are hard from both the cold and what I am doing, touch the tiles sending another wave of cold and arousal through me. I slurp and lick the last dregs of milk from the bottom of the bowl and sit back on my feet. I am so incredibly horny. I knew that I had always enjoyed the feelings that came with being degraded and humiliated, but I didn't realise until this moment exactly how much I craved that feeling. Full of a new wave of arousal I stand up and put my empty bowl in the sink before I head to my bedroom to get my camera.