This isn't my normal position. I prefer... No; I need, to be the submissive in our dynamic. At my core this is where I am most content, giving control so that I can be free. Free from what, I'm not entirely sure; but it's primal. This I know.
When Master first shared that he was a switch, I hadn't reacted in a way that had been decidedly submissive. While I do want to serve Him in all ways in the bedroom, and other rooms; topping - or, in my head, being dominant - worried me. If I'm even able to do this ... what would it do to my understanding of who He is, in relation to me, to our dynamic? I didn't know... but what I do know is that Master has been courageous to share these desires with me; so how could I not at least try to do, for Him, a small part of what he does for me?
And so I took up the challenge.
What does it mean to top when you're a submissive? How is this not 'topping from the bottom'?
I've spent a long time trying to wrap my head around this new idea of taking control. I've topped from the bottom in past relationships and in the aftermath, hated how it felt. I don't want to manipulate someone into giving me what I need. I've learned a lot. Most importantly, to be open and honest to a fault. It's served Master and me well.
There is no ambiguity. He knows me in ways that no one else ever will. Did He know, too, that I could do this?
And so I have researched, and found the concept of the 'Service Top': a person who is normally in the submissive role, but at the behest of the Dominant, takes the role of the top to control a scene. Knowing that this is what Master wants, that being of service in this way will please Him, has given my brain permission to search out that tiny, inner Domme buried deep within, and whose activation hopefully will not cause me to question all that I know I am.
My plan thus formulated, the evening started as many evenings had before. Quarantine had been ongoing for many months, so it was yet another night in the safety of our bubble. We first made a lovely dinner together, then sat drinking a good bottle of wine and bantering back and forth about anything and everything.
Conversation is so easy.
I am putting the dishes in the sink when He comes behind me and squeezes my tits.
'I can't wait any longer,' he says.
I turn toward Him, kiss Him deeply, and stare into His eyes. 'You're sure?' I plead.
He just smiles.
I nod, digging deep to find my courage. I touch His face. 'Go upstairs and get naked, please.' Polite to a fault.
In this moment he changes from Him to him. From Master to slut. The change is indistinguishable but integral in order for me to continue.
'Put the toys on the bed that I'm permitted to use, plus the lube. Lie face up on the bed, legs spread wide, arms over your head, eyes closed.'
He smiles again and kisses me deeply. 'Thank you,' he says, and turns to go obey my command.
I finish up the dishes, taking my time so that he'll have to wait for me. Wow, I can't believe how awesome my life is. How lucky I am to have found him.
I had added a new outfit to my overnight bag. I grab it from the hallway and head upstairs to the spare room where I can take my time getting ready. I'm not going to be comfortable going full Domme, but I found a sexy, babydoll teddy with a matching g-string, and attached garters.
I strip naked, putting the teddy on the bed, feeling the sexiness oozing from it. I take my time, making sure that everything is perfect. I attach the garters to the matching black thigh-high stockings. I feel wonderful and empowered.
Looking in the mirror, I breathe deeply to steady my nerves. You can do this, I tell myself. He believes I can and that helps push me to be sure. I slip into my shoes, check the mirror one last time, take another deep breath, and open the door to cross the hall.
He is spread across the bed, looking so open and sexy. On the bed between his legs are the toys he's laid out neatly, expectantly: lube, a dildo, a blindfold, and the crop. Of course, this is my scene so these are all just helpful suggestions.
'Tell me what you want, slut.'
He opens his eyes and looks at me, and smiles.
'Eyes closed, slut. I didn't tell you to open them.'
His eyes slam shut and his smile broadens.
It would seem that I'm taking to this more naturally then I thought I would. 'Don't make me repeat myself, slut, Tell me.' I raise my voice slightly, to exert some control.
'Lady,' he uses the term we've agreed to use while I'm on top, 'I want you to fuck my ass and if I'm a good slut, let me swallow your cum.'
'Well then. Let's see if you can be a good slut; but I have my doubts.' Wow, where is she coming from? Somewhere back in the hall, I seemed to have gained some much-needed confidence. I assess the toys.
Blindfold? No, he forces me to watch all the time; payback will be the bitch tonight.
Crop? Yes, let's start with a little warm up. I grab the crop and move to the top of the bed and clamber on, positioning my ankles over his wrists to lock them into place so he can't use his hands and lower my cunt onto his face. 'Lick, slut. Get your Lady ready to use you.'
He pushes his nose up hard and uses his tongue to try to dig between my folds; to find my clit. He's foiled by my panties and with no hands he's helpless to move them out of the way. He's licking in earnest, getting them wet, but missing the mark.
I discover for the first time that I can control the pressure, that I am not restrained and subject to the pressure and speed he wants, that he demands; now instead it's about what I want.
Empowerment! I toy with this idea for a while, raising up just out of his reach then grinding into his face, wistfully thinking that I should have left the thong off.
'It's not good enough slut, I'm not going to cum like this.' And as I say the last word the crop finds the inside of his right thigh.
Just a quick little smack. Nothing close to what I have endured for him, yet surprising enough that his mouth opens and he exhales into my cunt.
Oh my. I reach between my legs and push the panties to the side so his tongue can find its mark. 'Don't let those panties slip back in place, slut.'
His tongue presses hard onto my clit and I rest down on his face, grinding. Breathing isn't important, right? I giggle to myself.
The crop finds its mark again and again: left thigh, right thigh, abdomen. As I ride his face feeling my orgasm building I change it up so he can't anticipate where I'm going to strike next. His skin is pinking nicely, slowly. I see the appeal: the cause and effect.
If I wait any longer I'm going to cum, and dessert should never come before dinner. Time to move on to the next phase. I tear myself away from his expert ministrations and move to the end of the bed to regain my composure.
I bend down and position myself in the space between his legs, and begin by licking the pinkness the crop has left on his skin. Feeling the heat of it with my tongue. Breathing whispers of cool air, leaving him with goosebumps. Taking my time to awaken every inch of his lower body; my hands join in, manipulating his flesh, circling closer and closer to his cock but never touching it. His cock is growing, yearning for touch.
I move off the bed. 'Turn over, slut,' I demand. 'Ass in the air. Arms by your sides.'
As he turns over I steel myself. Give myself a pep talk. You can do this little bitch; your Master has asked you to serve Him and you will.
The picture in front of me is amazing. He is prone and vulnerable in this position. The sight gives me pause, and I take a moment to consider the trust he has placed in me. I reach out and place my hands on the rounded cheeks of his ass. He raises them up to meet the pressure as I rub and knead the skin. I slap him hard, putting him back in his place.
'Move down to the end of the bed, slut.'
He shifts down and his ass, his magnificent cock, and his balls are within easy reaching distance.
I move to the top of the bed and look into his eyes. 'Tell me again. Tell me what you want from me.'
'I need you to fuck my ass, little bitch.'
I smack his ass, again, hard. Another transgression.
'Suck, slut,' I demand as I shove four fingers past his lips. 'Get me wet so I don't have to hurt you.'
He sucks and I can see the glint in his eyes. When I return to the bottom of the bed, his cock, dangling, exposed, has grown perceptibly; hardening further. I lick the length: tip to balls, as my fingers find the perineum and start massaging; steadying myself while I lick the pre-cum from the tip of his penis, sucking it into my mouth.
As the massage deepens, my mouth wanders, licking his balls, taking them fully into my greedy mouth, finally finding his anus and focusing on the end goal.
My tongue lavishes; savouring, slowly teasing while my hands rub his cock and cup his balls. There is time. There is no need to rush this exquisite torture. Although at this point, my juices are soaking my panties; I'm beginning to think I'm the one being tortured.
My tongue pushes into his anus: shallow at first, but then deeper in exploration. Searching out the walls as deeply as I can. I dip my fingers between my legs, feeling how wet I am, and then bring them to join my tongue pushing the first finger into his tight hole. I hold them there, stilled, waiting to hear if he will protest; but instead his breathing evens. He sighs.
'Are we good to continue, Master?' I've broken protocol but I need Him to reassure me in this moment. He promised me that if I needed this it wouldn't cause Him to switch out.
'Yes, little bitch. I need you to finish what you've started. I need you to service your Master and do it well.'
I pull out my finger, pump it in again, and then pair it with a second finger and push in more forcefully. With my tongue I lick his perineum and suck his balls, letting him become accustomed to my possession of his deepest recesses.
He shifts and I take that as my cue to begin thrusting hard, eventually adding a third finger. In and out, harder and deeper each time.
His breathing becomes ragged. His cock strains as my fingers stroke up and down its length. I can feel it twitching and I know that it is time to finish this scene; to finish him and return to where I'm most comfortable: under his control.
I remove my fingers and push my face fully against his ass. Licking and kissing everywhere I can, slowing, before finally pulling back.
I watch him there, lying prone in front of me. So strong, in my mind; but so turned on in his submission.
Sweat glistening across his back, his hands flexing in anticipation. He knows what is next.
I reach for the dildo and the lube, and slather it on. I squirt lube at the entrance to his asshole and spread it around pushing my fingers inside, priming him. I kiss his hole one last time. 'Thank you Master for asking me to serve You like this.' Without waiting for a response I push the dildo in, and wait for him to relax around it.
He breathes in deeply then exhales. 'Fuck me, my Lady.' And with that I shove the dildo in to the hilt. I squeeze his cock with my lubed hand and work them, together. Pulling out and pushing in, while pumping his cock.
I have to admit: Master's stamina is admirable at the best of times but here, now, I can hear him panting, wanting. His cock, as hard as I've ever felt it, is thrusting into my hand, his hips driving his need. I have found a good rhythm so that on the in-stroke he groans and on the out-stroke he breathes in, absorbing the sensation, waiting for the next.
At last his cock releases. Long streams of cum shoot onto the bedsheets underneath him. I hold the dildo deep inside him while I milk the last of his cum from his balls and then lick the last of it, cleaning him thoroughly as is my duty.
I remove the dildo slowly and soothe his skin. 'Rest, Master.'
And with that he unclenches and flattens onto the bed, with a lovely smile and a twinkle in his eyes.
I set to the task of licking his cum from the sheets as best I can. Laving the dildo with my mouth, and then I crawl up beside him to make sure he is okay.
'Did I please you, Master?' I ask. But he is already fast asleep.
I smile and cover us both with a blanket.
For this good slut, drinking my cum on my command will have to wait until next time.
Thanks to Literotica Community Editor, Rex Brookdale, for feedback and guidance.