ok, today i asked for help from God. I prayed. 😬 kind of feels uncomfortable to admit that to you as part of this thing but there was real surrender/release in it

I asked for help from God because I didn''t know who else to ask. about the big stuff.

What do I need help with, like really?

• making friends
• finding community
• relieving pressure and regaining perspective
• (re)creating stability and “home”
• connecting with my family
• being here
• getting real

i feel so lonely and alienated and lost sometimes... and scared. but also sometimes so hopeful and optimistic and free, and glad to be here.

What''s wrong, what''s right, what''s true, what matters?

I have that image (which makes me crumple/cry) of the apostle pitching in the sea, flailing. And Jesus reaching out from the boat, just offering his hand: "don''t worry. You can just grab on." and what''s reassuring about this image isn''t that he''s "god", it''s just that he''s an ordinary man, just being there in the storm.