fuck
Welp, the only person i could help is myself, and ill just say, that im tired of talking to people. im tired of people in general. i just want my own oasis, just taking a break of social life, well, i guess for a long time, until i finaly commit suicide. i mean ill be relying on, animal crossing, video games, youtube, my, blades to when the sky feels like its falling... my stuffed rabbit and penguin, i take to school everyday, my stuffed animals, my 3ds, looking back at my memories, and this website to just, vent. i mean, i obviously cant handle anything with another human being without messing up. and then i just have to deal with the guilt, and, as soon as you know it, everyone hates you. you just, feel so guilty, you have no guidance. no one., i mean, i want to just, apologize everyone i just feel guilty too. and just, end it like that, and maybe block everyone, and delete all my social network accounts. i know it wont do anything. people only really care is themselves. i mean im tired of just people man, like, back to nihilistic and misanthropic self again. i just, dont wanna care anymore. i just want to die already. social life is literally just cancel culture. i cant handle taking care of other people. im not very symptathetic people even assume im some sort of physcopath or something. im a disgusting human being. for now. thats it, im done with this sh**ee.. i mean, i think after veterans day has passed, i could just, wear a hoodie to school with the hoodie strings, thats all i need to choke and suffocate myself in the bathroom stall and just die there. everyone wears hoodies. what are they gonna do??? ban hoodies? make them have to take the strings off??? i mean, i dont trust people enough to even let people comment on this post, or even react to it so im gonna disable those both things cause im sick of everyone. im sick of it all. i wanna just, do my "final draft" for my suicide note but i dont think i am gonna have time to do even that cause i have so much work in school i need to catch up on. everything is just falling upon me. it would be VERY VERY emberrasing if i ended up surviving. idk if i could even leave a note. its just gonna be one of those cases were the police is gonna have to search everything, even my personal life without my control, cause youknow, im f***ing dead. i wanted to write something, just straight up say my reasons on that lined paper, hoping its enough,,,, and maybe some resources for my loved ones on how to cope healthily with mourning. link some resources. im running out of time, i only got tommorow left. im tired of crying. i cut myself today again for being too overwhelmed by the workload, i just want to take a break from school. Reality isnt for me. life isnt for me. and thats my choice.
