Women’s Tips for a Successful One-Night Stand

As women, a lot of people would say we have the upper hand when it comes to choosing our options for a quick shag. The pick of the litter. The cream of the crop. Men want sex all the time, says the received wisdom, and so because there's near-constant demand, being in control of the supply makes us the ones with all the power.

Of course, that's not even nearly the case. Men and women alike are creatures with rich, complex internal lives, and there are an infinite number of ways in which we relate to one another, affected by everything from the sociopolitical climate to the economy, different cultures, religion, climate, time of day, wind direction and weather (especially relevant here in the upper Northern Hemisphere).

Which is to say, while there are probably no hard-and-fast rules - apart from ALWAYS USE PROTECTION - there are at least a few sturdy rules of thumb - and tips - for women looking to enjoy one-night stand sex.

Safety

When meeting someone who could be a stranger to you, and potentially having initiated contact anonymously online, safety should be your prime concern. Do everything you can to keep yourself safe - from telling a friend where you're going to texting them the address of the flat or hotel room you end up taking the date to later. Don't compromise your safety for the sake of being horny, or worse - being polite.

Control

Remain in control of yourself, your boundaries and your consent - and yes, that goes for even if part of the fantasy you want to explore with your one-night stand involves losing control! Plan ahead. Talk openly and honestly with your partner about your desires and your limits. Set a safe word, for when you absolutely want to stop and exit the scenario you've created to lose yourself in.

The more safeguards you can put in place to secure your encounter and protect from misunderstanding, the more fully you can lose yourself to whatever sexy scenario you've cooked up together.

Expectations

Be clear with your potential one-night stand about what you're looking for. Do you want a discreet hookup? Someone to share fantasies with? A party pal? Perhaps you're looking for someone to indulge you in ways a regular hookup won't. Be mindful also of your one-night stand's wants and needs too - this isn't a zero-sum game. You want to make sure that both of you get what you want out of your trysts. Make it clear if you need them to remain on the down-low - in fact, set it as a condition if you need to.

Etiquette

It's not odd to thank someone after a one-night stand - especially if you enjoyed yourself. It's good to discuss an exit strategy with your partner before going to bed together, as well. Just let them know if you have to leave early, of if you don't want to talk in the morning. Alternatively, thank them for a wonderful evening, and tell them you'll be in touch/you won't be in touch. Easy!

Other things to consider include: be clear about who's going to pay for drinks and dinner, if you are going to being by meeting in public - there's nothing less sexy than a standoff over the cheque. Your one-night stand might think you expect them to conform to more outdate gender roles than you're comfortable with - let them know! You're a grown woman, out for a no-strings-attached encounter with a virtual stranger - the likelihood is that you're self-posessed enough to pick up half of a bill. (Unless, of course, part of the roleplay is that you let him pay... or that you make him pay!) The same goes for the hotel room and taxis - pay your way and earn respect from your partner.

Be prepared

It can't be overstated how important it is to use protection when you are looking for sex with a virtual stranger. Come equipped for your one-night stand with plenty of condoms, if you're planning on having penetrative sex. You could also throw some dental dams and sachets of lube in the bag. Make sure your phone is charged (but on silent) and you bring a charger for it - and a change of clothes, if you plan on staying overnight and don't fancy the 'stride of pride' in last night's outfit!