I had a spat tonight with S and I really just let my anger/hurt-feelings show. I didn''t swallow it or self-censor it or bat it away or try to repackage it to her as something else. I just got mad. And it wasn''t destructive or ruinous or ... I don''t know what. It just was... a spat. And she responded "well" to it... I think it probably felt very direct and honest to her, like she could just see it for what it was and "trust" it, no hidden agendas or invisible stuff under the waterline or whatever. She heard me, she apologized, we resolved it, it didn''t take ages and ages.

I don''t want to read too much into this, except for the fact that I clearly do, since here I am writing about it.

I guess I want to give myself credit for doing something that is definitely not my default—openly expressing anger is something I usually avoid doing at all costs. So for once I just got mad, and I also want to notice how that played out... one thing I''d like to learn how to do more of is "be angry" in a healthy, clean, honest, non-avoidant way.